Uninvited Guests

Last night we had a going away party for our friend Eric. He got a new job in Sacramento and he is moving this weekend. It was nice having everyone together. And by everyone, I mean all of the old group of friends that used to hang out, plus their now soon to be wives and a few extra friends. Eric really enjoyed himself and the party was fun. That was until the uninvited guests showed up. You will all rememeber this piece of work that I have previously talked about. Yeah well her and her boyfriend showed up! Clearly I would never have invited such yuck to a party that I would be throwing, but you know what apparently someone (and by someone I'm pretty sure I mean her brother or this other girl that was there) did invite her. I happened to be at the bar getting Eric a shot when she walked in and when I got back to the table my good friend Monica said...."so I'll be buying you a drink now no??" I went ahead and took that drink and sat and chatted with the girls. I was nice and I made no eye contact with the devil's spawn. Fortunately she didn't speak a word to me either. This gives me hope that when her name is intentionally left off of the invitation that she will not be inclined to attend anyway because apparently she doesn't like me either anymore. Perfect!! So needless to say other than her annoying presence and her god awful voice, she didn't bother me all that much. You see that was until this comment was made by her neanderthal boyfriend (ok I shouldn't call him that...he seemed pretty decent last night although I've heard in the past that he has issues).

"So how's Quincy working out for ya?"

How's Quincy working out for us? How's Quincy working out for us?!?! Why let me tell you how he's working out for us you worthless piece of shit. Thanks to you and your right hand skank, he has major abandoment issues and now we have to have him on doggie prozac in order to keep him. Thanks to you and your right hand skank (and of course let's give our good friend Steve here a little credit for his mistreatment) the dog freaks the fuck out when we leave him anywhere...or when Dave leaves for that matter. He's gone through 3 kennels too, but thanks for asking. He was on day 4 of his 5 day sentence when we picked him up so thanks for the phone call to tell us you all were ready to get rid of the dog so we could have come and picked him up instead of having to rescue him from a dog shelter that is a fucking kill shelter that has caused much of his anxiety. So how's Quincy working out for us...why he's just fucking peachy!!! Oh and PS we'll be sending you his prozac bill every month you fuck stick!

Fortunately for all involved at the table, Dave went ahead and answered this question. He did make sure to point out that Quincy had major abandoment issues and when he said we had him on medicine to calm him down, Steve actually laughed like are you serious? Ha yeah fuck head we are serious again THANKS!!! What a bunch of jackasses no!!!

As if the uninvited guests weren't enough, then Eric and Kenny started talking down by me and Teela. Remember I now can get along with Kenny and not want to rip his face off his shoulders. Side note, he looks fantastic after all the weight he has lost and I didn't even recognize him when we walked in. I'm very happy for him...now back to Eric and Kenny's conversation. So they are sitting there talking and Eric is relatively drunk and he is saying how Kenny should go ahead and spit game to Teela (Eric's ex if you all remember)...then Eric the charming little shit says oh yeah I mean you already hooked up with Angie...hell probably even Katie (one of the other soon to be wives there) too. Kenny immediately looked at me...my stomach immediately did a flip flop...Eric immediately regretted what he had just said and Teela gave him a tittie twister to remind him of what a fuck he was! Then Kenny was like you know how about we don't bring that shit up...and kept trying to pussy foot around getting himself out of the glare that was coming from me! Then Eric says oh who gives a shit...Kenny quickly reminded him that a few people probably did give a shit and then Eric proceeded to say how they (him and Kenny) got left out of the wedding...they are our ushers so that we could include everyone. We could have left them out but we chose to include them. Kenny goes yeah I see that managed to get me down to an usher...AGAIN LET ME REITERATE THAT YOU ARE LUCKY YOU ARE PART OF IT PERIOD!!!! I of course wanted to say that I would like to set the record staright and that he is a big fat liar, but again I went ahead and sipped my drink and was the bigger person. No need to start shit in the middle of a bar and rehash open old wounds. It was an awkward moment for all of us, but oh well huh! I try to keep the peace with Kenny and don't want to start shit all over again.

All in all we had a pretty fun night even with our uninvited guests and slip of Eric's tongue. Hopefully Eric had a good time and enjoyed his last get together with everyone before he moves!!