Thursday, January 31, 2008
I'm skipping a few months up to May, but really you aren't missing anything. Same stuff was going on. We were hooking up, hiding it from our friends and my mom was getting sicker. Now you are all caught up.
I finished my student teaching and my friend Callie was coming into town for 5 days. I was so ready for graduation so ready to just be done with school. I hadn't seen Callie in a few years and I was looking forward to spending a lot of time with her. We decided that we were going to have quite the celebration that night when she got into town. She flew in around 10pm that night and we went and met my friend Aaron. Shannon will appreciate the Aaron part of this story! We met up with him and Callie wasn't the tomboy he remembered. She was way thin and smoking hot! Of course they ended up hooking up and coming back to my house. I had always adored Aaron but I already had my fun with him in college and my heart was set on Dave. That started the 5 days of our partying session and the 5 days of Dave being at my house non stop.
Dave and Eric stayed at my house for 5 days. We had so much fun. The four of us kept going out every night and we all went to graduation. Notice anyone missing? Yeah Steve. Turns out his skank of a sister was more right than she was wrong. Steve suddenly didn't need me because school was over. Our phone calls went from everyday all day to maybe once a week. I hadn't seen him forever and this was the decline of our friendship. However, without him in the picture, I was able to focus all my time on Dave. Dave and Eric and I became suddenly closer. Without Steve in the picture, I could see these two boys for what they were and it gave us a chance to actually become better friends when Steve wasn't around.
The days we spent around my graduation helped me to get over the fact that my mom wasn't at the ceremony. Again I was glad I had done the one in Winnemucca, because although she was alive, she couldn't have sat through that long ceremony. All of my family was there and I know she was thinking of me all day. I know it broke her heart to not be there, but she still did get to see me graduate in some way.
Dave and I started to get really close during this time. It was also around this time that I was going to be in my friend Lisa's wedding. Here I would meet a new friend that would become a part of our group and suddenly she would be the only friend that knew about me and Dave.
Monday, January 28, 2008
More of my family
Me, the dean of education and his wife
Some of the people that came to my graduation
So this was a nice little treat for my mom and I'm really happy that my uncle and sister helped to put this together. It did mean a lot to her and to me that she was able to see me get my diploma in some form. And how great is the dean of education for driving all the way to Winnemucca to hold this special ceremony for one of his students!
(Alright Shawna, I owe you way more and this was a just brief touch on Dave in this one, but at least we were all able to see the games he really played...he was nice in this one and then he'll turn to a shit in the next one!)
We entered numerous drawings and then we left the fair. After we got home, I got a phone call saying that I had won the bachelorette basket from the Chocolate Walrus. SCORE!! There has to be at least $200 worth of stuff in there. There is a pin the macho on the man poster, a bride tank top (that will apparently have to be my goal because it's a medium and my boobs are not so medium), a boa, some games, 6 penis shot glasses, pecker whistles, pecker straws, pretty much everything pecker you could think of...then there was this wonderful purple bag in the center. It was filled with tons of stuff and guess what it had in it...a VIBRATOR! Yeah I go to the wedding fair...do I win the $5000 honeymoon, NO. Do I win any of the honeymoon give aways, NO. Do I win anything else that would be normal to win...NO. I win the basket full of porn stuff! Oh well it is going to be way fun and there's not much left to buy for a bachelorette party so my sister and Chrissy left feeling like they totally scored and it was there basket until after the party haha!
I'll have to take some pictures later and post them up...I'll try to get one of me in my dress too but not sure that I will be able to do that for a while when I try it on again.
Now I must post at least one more chapter or Shawna will kill me!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Oh and Shawna...I'm working on the next chapters...hopefully I can get them up today or tomorrow! I promise not to leave you hanging for much longer :)
Monday, January 21, 2008
I distinctly remember a night when Kelsey was a real problem. Dave and I had spent the entire night dancing together. He was being incredibly flirty and I was loving it. He didn't seem to be worried about what our friends were thinking and they had seen us kiss a few times so no biggie. But of course I only just realized how shallow our friends were. We ended up running into Kelsey and of course drunk Dave was going to go be all flirty with her too.
Ok keep your cool you don't want everyone to know and you can't go getting all jealous.
I kept my cool alright, right up until it was time to leave. We were all walking out and everyone was coming to my house to stay the night. We go to get in the elevator and there is Kelsey. She asked if he wanted to go home with her and I shot him the death eyes. Too bad for me at this time they didn't have the same effect they do now. Of course all the guys were like "do it!!!" I thought wow he doesn't have the balls to seriously disrespect me even if it is in front of all of our friends. There's no way he will go home with her after he had already made it very clear to me that he was going home with me.
Nope! Silly me...he would disrespect me in front of everyone, because if he didn't go with her then everyone was going to give him shit! So shit on the girl that is head over heals in love with you and go home with Kelsey. I was angry at him up until she flashed me that ha ha I win eyes and I was ready to come unglued! Of course I had to deal with that all on the inside.
**She wasn't ever a nice person to Dave either. While they never actually hooked up other than kissing, she did use him to get back at her old boyfriend at the time and after my mom had died Teela called to tell me that they were all out one night and she tried to use Dave to get James mad...it worked and they almost got into a fight. So he's 0 for 2 with the girls so far! Maybe he should have just stuck to the nice girl from the beginning.**
Patty asked if our friends had always wanted us together. That was never part of their plan and it was probably the farthest thing from their minds. After my little discovery this weekend, I would have to say they probably tried even harder than I know to make sure that we weren't together. Some friends huh!
This weekend all started from an email. One of Dave's friends in Wyoming, Gabe, is going to be in our wedding. I don't know him or the best man. I won't meet them until July. I will only meet them because I planned a trip up there. I got Gabe's email for our wedding stuff and I just took the initiative to write him and say thanks for being in the wedding and I looked forward to meeting him. We have since written to each other every day. I think this is nice because he is taking the time to get to know me even if it is only through email right now. I have been asking Dave for the last few years to go up there, but these friends were always like his secret friends. He would never talk to them if I was around and it really started to bother me. So I took it into my own hands and talked to the friend on my own. Now Dave thinks its just great because I appreciate his friend up there as much as he does (duh! if you gave me the chance to meet him I could have told you that!)
As I said Gabe and I have been emailing. In Wyoming, no one calls Dave, Dave. They all call him David. I have never called him that because he was introduced to me as Dave. So when I write I try really hard to write David, but I always forget and end up writing Dave. Gabe wrote me back Thursday and he titled the email Alter Ego. I thought that was a funny title until I started reading. He wrote something so simple, something I probably read so much into it wasn't even funny. But it didn't matter...no matter how he meant this statement, I suddenly understood what I thought he meant.
He wrote: It's funny when you write Dave...it seems that he is trying to get away from his old self some...Brian, Greg and I were talking about it at lunch and we don't know who Dave is...we only know David.
Now I'm sure there was no super secret meaning behind him writing that. I'm sure by old self he really didn't mean that Dave was trying to get away from something in his past. But, whether Gabe meant it like this or not, I understood that Dave was probably a very different person than David.
I breifly mentioned this email to Dave. He was like I wonder what he meant. This was at lunch. By the time I got home I knew exactly what Gabe meant and I proceeded to tell Dave. You see when I met Dave he was really good friends with Steve. I told you all in my earlier posts that our friendship was going to taper off and I wasn't going to think Steve was all that great anymore. After being friends with Steve for the time I had been, I had started to see him for what he really was. He was a really shallow person. He was very materialistic and not in just the fact that he liked nice things...in the way that he liked nice things, would only purchase the best of the best, and then would proceed to rub it all in your face. He was the kind of person that needed arm candy and if the girl wasn't smokin hot, she wasn't going to be good enough. He is the kind of person that has to put a price tag on EVERYTHING! When I bought my new car, the first thing out of his mouth was how much was that? Oh it wasn't like 30,000, must not really be a good car! He's that kind of a person. But I wasn't trying to date him, and he was still a good friend to me (or so I thought) and I could live with his personality. Another thing I have always known about Steve is that he has some power over people. I truthfully don't think he does it on purpose or that he is even aware of it, but he sweeps people into some trance if you will that he is a god. You can tell me I'm nuts, but even Chrissy who knew him before me can attest to this. Everyone has to impress him. It's just a fact...I've done it, Chrissy's done it, Dave's done it, Eric still does it...we all do it. Like I said he doesn't demand this, and I'm not sure he is aware of it, but it happens. We would have all decided that we didn't want to go somewhere downtown for the weekend. Steve would show up, he would say oh let's go to the place you guys already decided you didn't want to go, and that's where we would go.
Dave was no exception to this rule. Dave had to always impress Steve. They had to shop at the Buckle and he had to wear Lucky...he always did what Steve wanted, always went where Steve wanted, and apparently always hooked up with girls that Steve saw fit. Enter my livid state of pissed offness this weekend!! You see, Dave was a different person down here. He had to be because he had to be what Steve wanted him to be or what Steve thought was cool. I suddenly realized that the person Gabe talks about isn't the person that I first met...he is the person I am now going to marry, but he isn't the person that I first met. There was no way that Dave would have acted like this in front of his Wyoming friends...not the Dave I know now anyway. As I start to tell Dave all of this...it dawns on me even more that in the world of Steve, I wasn't hot enough...I wasn't good enough and therefore, Dave wouldn't have ever let his friends know that he was hooking up with me!!!
Ok I'm sure you can now start to think that I was just being irrational...Dave isn't really that much of a jerk. WRONG PEOPLE!!! As I was telling him all of this I was saying things like in the eyes of your friends, I wasn't hot enough...I wasn't Janna, Kelsey or Rachel (all girls that the guys encouraged him to hook up with because oh my god how lucky was he they were so hot!) Do you want to know what this dumb ass said to me...YOU'RE RIGHT!! I'm WHAT! Ok I appreciate honesty as much as the next person but did you seriously just tell the woman you are going to marry that at one time, she wasn't hot enough and you had to impress your friends and so therefore you put me through a year of games? Oh and did I leave out that STEVE was the one that he was trying to impress and he is also the person in our WEDDING! Yeah I was furious...I couldn't believe that he had just admitted to me that for part of the time, he did like me, but that the guys didn't think I was hot enough so he couldn't be with me.
As you can well imagine, my little feelers were hurt! I knew I couldn't geniunely be mad at him because it was in the past and he couldn't change it. What was important was the he did change and he stopped being like that. He stopped caring what Steve thought or what anyone thought and did things for himself. For that I am happy. But as you will see in the story, Janna is a very very bitter sore nerve. I always thought I was second best to her...like she didn't work out so he came back and settled for me. Well it took me a VERY long time to get over that and then what does he do this weekend? He rips that wound open and dumps a gallon or so of salt into it!
He spent all day Friday text messaging me telling me how he had hated the person he had become and that he was so sorry that he had ever cared what they thought and so on. Yeah that was all fine and dandy, but that didn't change my hurt feelings or the fact that this guy is in our wedding!!!!!! Why would I want someone in our wedding that thought I wasn't good enough for you because I wasn't hot enough? Dave also told me that it was being with me that changed him back to the person he was in Wyoming. It was because I always told him to stand up for himself, and to not worry about Steve. It was because I loved him either way and he knew that I wasn't going to be like the skanky girls that he was trying to appease Steve with...I had substance and I was pretty. (That one might take a while for me to believe again!) I was someone that was a good person and someone that he could trust being in a relationship with. I was the person that was going to deal with all of his issues in relationships and be there to work him through them...not just pass him over because he was a mess!
All in all the weekend turned out good. I did something that I probably never do soon enough and just let it go. I said my peace. I said it hurt me. I said that he opened the Janna thing again and proved everything I had always feared so that if that was a sore subject for a while again, sorry. I said that I knew there was really nothing to be mad at...it is in the past. I said I realized that he wasn't that person anymore and that I loved him either way (although I certainly didn't like him very much at the moment). I was the bigger person and I didn't drag it out forever like I normally would have. Probably because I knew I was just going to have to get over it because there was nothing he could do. And probably because it really didn't matter...I was the one that was going to marry him so somewhere along the road he pulled his head out of his ass!!
I will now continue with my story...you will see bits and pieces of this come up again as I write the next chapters. Hopefully having this understanding will make the story over the next few chapters make even more sense!
Dave and I continued to see each other on the side when we had time. I was the one going out of my way to make time, and he was the one that if he had the time, he had the time. But if not, no biggie. The whole time I was clearly falling for him. Everything about his was great...when it was just the two of us. But when everyone else was around, it was like I was non-existent. Well not that bad, but it wasn't the same. He would still do a few flirty things and I know our friends couldn't possibly have been that dense to not know, but it was our thing to keep it all a secret.
I had just started my student teaching and so I was seeing less of Steve and still going to the shop to see Dave everyday after I was done with school. One day our friend Eric was there and they were talking about going out that weekend. It was going to be a "guys" night and Monica and I weren't supposed to come. They did this shit to us often...and it was ALWAYS made into a huge deal leaving Monica and I to feel like shit. It always drove me more nuts because when they were out to have a guy night they were out to get laid. It was my understanding that Dave and I were sleeping together and we weren't sleeping with anyone else...no strings attached of course. Suddenly I started hearing about how Kelsey and those girls were going to meet them downtown...WAIT! I thought this was a "guy" night and what is the deal with Kelsey? Could he really be playing games with me right now? Was I really that blind to his signals and was I completely misinterpretting them to be the way I wanted? Little did I know that the games were about to begin!
Friday, January 18, 2008
I haven't had time to write this week because I was putting the finishing touches on my fundraiser at school and then we had it Wednesday night. Oh yeah it was awesome...we raised $841!!! I think that worked out pretty well and will be much needed by Dave's dad and his neighbor!!
Monday, January 14, 2008
My favorite little phrase and a complete secret between me and Dave.
January 5, 2004 (yes I remember the date because I'm good like that!!) changed everything I had ever known about a lot of things. Dave had gone home that morning after our ordeal with the crazy girl that the boys had picked up. I knew that he must have liked me at least a little. There were all those little signs and he was giving me all those little looks like a guy does when they are interested. After he left, I sat at home alone for the day just thinking about him. I couldn't get him out of my mind. He told he him would probably call me later that night or something. I didn't get my hopes up, but secretly I was wishing and praying that he called and maybe just he and I could hang out for once alone.
He actually did call. We started talking and one thing led to another and suddenly we were talking about hooking up. It was the joking around like oh yeah right you are the one that doesn't want to do it bullshit that high schoolers play but you know what I bought right into it all. After about an hour or so on the phone, he had convinced me that he was coming into town and we would just hang out. Ok we just spent the last hour talking about having sex with each other and now we are just going to hang out? YEAH RIGHT!!
I suddenly flipped into girly oh my gosh my crush is coming over mode. I ran and threw on some make up. I straightened everything up at the house...and thanked god that Jonathan had gone to Winnemucca for the weekend so I didn't have to wonder where we could actually do this without him being home. We might have been on a break but we were still living together. After 45 minutes of heart pounding anticipation, he finally showed up. I was like a giddy school girl. I had just spent the last 5 days straight with him and now it was like I didn't know what to talk to him about. Probably because I knew we were going to have sex for the first time and probably because I wasn't quite sure what to expect.
He decided that we should just go for a drive and talk. Wait I thought I was going to have sex...what is this driving around and talking bull shit about?? We drove around for almost 3 freaking hours! As we were talking we figured out that he didn't want to hook up at my house because that would be disrespectful to Jonathan (yes this is the same guy that said I had a boyfriend and that was my problem not his...now he was worried about his feelings?). If I had been in Winnemucca I would have had a million places where we could have gone down a dirt road away from people and had our little time in the car. But this was Reno...where the hell was I supposed to go. As I said we drove around forever trying to find a spot to park. We ended up out by Red Hawk golf course. The entire time we had been driving around I had butterflies in my stomach. My heart was racing like the first time you are going to do something and you are super excited about it! Now we had found a place that was secluded...now what the hell was I supposed to do with him?
We sat there in completely awkward silence for a while (this is why friends with benefits doesn't work out so well for me). How were we going to take our friendship to the next intimate level and still make sure that we remained friends? Oh I know I tell Dave that we are going to have sex with no strings attached...it's just something we both need! Uh huh...I happened to leave out that I had some pretty strong feelings brewing for him and that those were going to end up being some tough strings to break. After about 10 minutes, he said something and I turned to look at him and he gave me a kiss. It was the most melty, mushy gushy kiss I have ever experienced. I shit you not I melted right there. It wasn't like the other times I had kissed him (maybe because he was sober!) no no people this was completely different! Of course one thing led to another and we ended up finally hooking up. Excuse if this is TMI, but it was the best sex EV-AH!! I'm pretty sure I have never had sex like that again and I knew damn well I had never had sex like that before. All the corny things I could possibly say like it was mind blowing and blah blah blah...yeah it's all true! The guy was a great dancer and it most certainly transferred over into the bedroom...er uh front seat of my car!
It was from that point on that Dave and I started our year long secret affair if you will. We hooked up, we talked on the phone, we spent time together just the two of us, and we hid it ALL from our friends and everyone else. The only people at the time that knew anything of Dave were two people that I talked to at work that I completely trusted. Plus I knew they weren't going to be hanging out with me on the weekends with my friends so no possibilities of it being leaked out.
You might ask what so... means. That was our text message to each other if we wanted to hook up. Our agreement was that if one of us sent that to the other, it was to come and have sex with each other again no strings attached. We used it often and it seriously made my heart skip a beat when I would get that text message. Everytime I would get it, I would go to him...and every time I would fall a little more for him. I thought the same could be said for him. I mean do people really have friends with benefits for as long as he and I and actually not end up harboring any feelings for each other? I knew this couldn't possibly be true...he had to at least like me a little bit right?
New Years of 2004 was going to be just that for me. It was going to be a new year with totally new adventures. I was going to be student teaching, graduating in May, and best of all I was about to be legitimately single!
That New Years, Jonathan had some friends come up from Vegas. We were all supposed to go out together and he ended up leaving earlier than me. We met up at Pacific Beach (hell it went through so many names I'm not sure that's the right one either). He was with his Vegas friends, and I was with Steve, Dave, Eric and Monica. I didn't care that I wasn't with Jonathan. I was happy to ring in the new year with the people that were making me happy. We all met up down at the club and Jonathan was a drunk mess. He was dancing around acting like a complete jackass. I was super embarrased and tried to pull the whole girlfriend roll about his drinking. But really I didn't care...I was more concerned with where Dave went. Jonathan and I ended up getting into a fight and decided not to spend the evening together. He went off with his friends and I went off with mine. I however wasn't so happy. I knew that I was about to start all of these new things and I knew that Jonathan and I were about to be done for good. I didn't want to lose my comfort blanket if you will, but I knew I had to. I vaugely remember the night and me having to find him down the street because he was so drunk he was lost. He was a complete ass to me and pushed me out of his way. Dave happened to see and although he was really drunk, he grabbed me and said that I deserved better. He told me it was time to let him go. And that's just what I did. When we got home the next morning, we talked and we decided that we were going to take a break. He knew it would be permenant, and while I knew that was what was best, I was trying to hang on to him because it was safe and comfortable.
I spent the next three days (me and all the boys and monica had spent the two days before new years eve all together too) surrounding myself with the three boys. We went out every single night and they got wasted. I went with them and just hung out. I watched them all hit on girls and act like idiots but to me it was better then being around my house at the time. There was nothing normal there. Jonathan walked away from 4 years of a relationship like it was nothing. But the girl in me had to be a little sad...I had dated this person for 4 years! It was the right thing to do...I had to have a certain mourning period right?
The last night we all hung out the boys were wasted and I had pharyngitis. Same thing as laryngitis except it's in your pharynx. I could hardly talk and I had to start student teaching on that Monday. But I still went out with the boys. Steve and Eric picked up on some girl that was way younger then them and just as dysfunctional. Long story short she ended up telling the boys she was pregnant after they got her shitfaced and she couldn't stand. We all drove her home and she ended up throwing up all over my car in the backseat and all over Steve...in hind sight he deserved it. While the boys were busy picking up on this girl, Dave was busy helping me soak up my sorrows in the corner.
We spent much of the night talking about everything that was suddenly happening to me. He was being super sweet and incredibly flirty. I was getting the vibe that maybe all those make out sessions were a little more than just him wanting to try and hook up. You see up until this point in the story that's all we had done. We only made out and had some major sexual chemistry on the dance floor. But we hadn't hooked up.
Yep, New Year 2004 was going to be the start of a very different life for me.
This chapter is going to sound like a ranting rave and I will sound like an utter bitch, but I don't care. You see it is at this point that I actually befriend Dave. He becomes a permenant part of the weekend group and since him and Steve work together I see him all the time. I won't lie...I was attracted to him and went out of my way to do things for him very similarly to how I did things for Steve. The more I got to know him, the more I liked him. Of course at this time I would not admit this to anyone...myself included. I had a boyfriend and well he was attached to the skank!
The skank...Steve's sister Rachel. I usually have a worse word for her...and I never call her by her name because I don't really think she is a human being worth of being called anything other than a Skank or the ever popular C word...yeah I don't like her in case you couldn't tell. When I first started hanging out with Steve, I didn't know much of his family. His sister was still in high school and when I first had the chance to meet her, I thought she was pretty cool. A little outspoken and over the top but still a cool girl. I remember going to her graduation and doing all the fun stuff with her. Yep she was cool up until she began to mingle with Dave.
You see I said she was in high school...Dave was like 7 years older than her! (I know he's a colossal moron you don't have to tell me twice!) Either way he was head over heals for her. He was going out of his way to do things for her like I was for him and Steve. He would drive into town from Fernley just to hang out with her for a few hours. He would help her write her school papers (and she was and is a fucking moron and I don't know how she could even function in school and I'm not just saying that to be mean. She will tell you she's dumb!) take her here and take her there. ALL of the boys in our group thought she was just the hottest thing ever...she's a pretty girl don't get me wrong. But I can't even say she's pretty now because she's such an ugly asshole on the inside it bleeds out of her.
I spent the next few months watching Dave be walked all over by this girl. I will never forget the time when they came to the University Inn where I was working because she needed help with her homework. She sat there and in front of Dave blatently said that she didn't like him, and she was just using him and he knew that. What kind of slutbag says that when the person they are talking about is standing right there! I looked at her in an awe. Obviously she thought her shit didn't stink at all and he should just be at her beck and call. Apparently his dumb ass thought the same thing. Plus she was a piece of ass and he was like a God to all of Steve's friends because he was getting to screw Steve's little sister that was smoking hot in their eyes. But while Dave acted like he didn't care, I saw in his face that he was actually hurt by the things she said about him, to him and the things she did to him. It was at this point I saw the sensitive side with Dave and I realized that I couldn't ignore that I liked him.
We would go out on the weekends and he would get drunk and want to make out. He was a fantastic dancer and we all broke off into our little "dancing partners" when we went out. I danced with him and got blindly jealous if Monica tried to dance with him. She danced with Steve didn't she know that! Of course I couldn't let them know that I actually liked him because I STILL had a boyfriend. He would sit and make out with me on Saturday and then go and be all lovey goo goo over the skank! What the fuck didn't he have feelings or was he treating me like she was treating him? Either way the skank had to go!
Aside from her maltreatment of Dave and the rest of human kind, she is also the person that told me (the same night at the University Inn by the way) that I was stupid if I thought Steve would still be friends with me after we graduated from college and he didn't need me anymore. It was at this point in the night when I began to yell at her...remember I'm at work! I screamed at her and told her what a piece of shit she was for treating Dave, this super sweet guy, the way she did and I told her to get the fuck over herself if she didn't think Steve and I would be friends. Hello had she not seen that we were inseperable??
I leave the story here about the skank because I harbor such ill will towards her that just speaking about her can actually cause me to spark a fight with Dave over his idiotic moves with her. I dislike her so much that when I send the invitation for our wedding to Steve's parents house I am purposely excluding her name and if she is included in the RSVP, Dave is the one responsible for calling and saying no no she can't come. That is how much I dislike this girl...immature I know. Get over it right he is marrying me...yeah for some reason I can't. She makes my stomach turn and the thought of him even remotely liking her makes me want to vomit!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
So the night continued and I swear hormones were flying from every person at the party. Gillespie and Monica were busy trying to hook up (they had a fling and that's a blog I shall not get into). Our friend Heidi was busy downstairs with a guy named James only to come up and have Steve hitting on her. And Dave and I most definitely had sparks flying.
By this point in the evening, the 6 of us had moved upstairs. We weren't playing beer pong or hanging out with the rest of the party...we were all upstairs in a bedroom pairing off trying to find a dark corner! Dave and I were talking and he leaned in to kiss me...WOWEE!! This was seriously wonderful...boyfriend...no I don't have one of those. Thank you Monica for being so busy trying to get down someone's pants next to me that you didn't rat me out. This was going to be a wonderful night. That is until Steve walks in!
Steve walked in and tried to ruin my night. He yanked Dave off of me and said "what the hell are you doing...she has a boyfriend?" That cockblocking rat! How dare he tell on me like I was 5!! UGH! Fortunately I was messing around with someone that lacked morals even more than myself at that point. Dave's response: "She has a boyfriend? That's not my problem, it's hers!" Yeah so quit tattling on me and go play with Heidi. Monica and Gillespie were now getting pretty hot and heavy so Dave and I decided we were going to sit in the bathroom away from them and everyone else. It is at this point I see Dave's morals REALLY kick in.
He starts trying to hook up with me. Hello did you not hear I have a boyfriend...I already acted like a slutbag (yes I stole Shannon's word today) and now you are looking for a piece of ass? Plus hello you just met me. You don't know a thing about me! Everyone knows we are in there so when they all walk out for a minute we make a mad break for the closet! Yes we hung out the rest of the night in the closet. It's a big walk in closet and had plenty of room for us to have a romping make out session! I of course was worried to death that Steve was going to walk in and find us. Being emotionally attached to him like I was, I actually felt worse disappointing him than I did cheating on Jonathan. My morals were all screwy and by the wayside. I kept telling Dave that people were going to walk in and find us and that I wasn't ok with that. I kept telling him that I wasn't going to make out with him or hook up with him because he was just going to run and tell everyone. He assured me that he wouldn't do that and hello he was a phenomenal kisser so what the hell right!
We made out for a while, Monica finished her business and we went home. Dave never did succeed in "nailing" me that night and he wouldn't for another year. But he did succeed in one thing that night. He showed me that there truly was someone better out there for me. Someone I had much better chemistry with and someone I was blindly attracted to. He also showed me that I was nothing more than a piece of ass for the night and that he was going to trample all over my little heart before I even knew what was about to happen!
Dave moved back from Arizona in April. He moved up here to go to school because Yuma didn't have the program he needed (thank god in hindsight!). I will never forget the night that I met Dave. It was Gillespie's birthday part this time. And boy were we having a party. As usual, Monica and I went up there with Steve except something was different when we went in the door. Gillespie was waiting for us by the door, waiting to reunite Steve and Dave and introduce me to my future husband! I so wish I had pictures, but I don't have a scanner and at that time I didn't use a digital camera. By the time we got there, I'm sure they had a few drinks in them. Steve and Dave caught up and Gillespie introduced him to me and Monica. He met Monica first and then Gillespie said "and this is the girl you talked on the phone to." Wow this was the guy I talked to...ok I could live with him joining our group of friends. If he is like he was on the phone, I could really like this guy. It was the first night that I felt like I had the confidence to actually let go of Jonathan and know there was something better out there. Only problem is we hadn't said 5 words to each other yet and here I was dreaming about the future. Slow down Sally!
We exchanged "hi's" and everyone headed for the kitchen to get drinks. Dave made me a drink and gave me a slam dunk of a line. "You are even prettier than Gillespie said." Holy shit did he just say that?? Yeah I fell for it hook, line, and sinker! ** I just asked Dave if he said that so he could try to get in my pants that night or if Gillespie had really told him this and he now can't remember. Therefore, I am going to assume that it was a line that he just used to weasle his way in! So much for love at first sight and sweet lines huh! Shithead! ** I spent the rest of the night talking and flirting with Dave. I was eating up all this attention he was giving me. It was everything I had been craving from Jonathan and what I was trying to milk out of Steve. Dave was making me feel like I was the most gorgeous girl in the room and he thought I was just great. Have I mentioned what his shirt said...First we get hammered, then I nail you. Nice huh! And that's exactly what he tried to do!
I spent the next 20 minutes or so talking to something I had never met. He sure did sound cute (if that can really happen) and he sounded like he shouldn't have been friends with the heathens I was hanging out with. He seemed really down to earth and he had me laughing within the first 5 minutes. But this guy lived in Arizona and wasn't going to give me all those things that Steve was giving me emotionally. So I gave the phone back and went back to the garage to be near Steve. We ended up staying there that night and talking all night long. Steve told me that he knew I wasn't happy and that I should just dump Jonathan...I would clearly find someone else. I didn't have to stay unhappy because I was comfortable.
Little did I know the person on the other end of the phone was the person that I was clearly going to find very soon!
Mike's house from across the street...you can see the road isn't covered in this spot and the water had gone down even before we had arrived. You can see the water line on the tree.Standing in his driveway looking up the "better" part of the road. When we first got there you couldn't see the little fence post in the bottom right corner.
And my personal favorite...the man paddling his boat down the street with his snow shovel!
Sorry all the pictures got all crunched together...blogger should really make loading pictures much more user friendly!
When my principal asked how my weekend was I told him I had to go to Fernley. Being the absolutely wonderful man he is, he said what can we do to help Dave's dad? I was a little taken aback because I didn't think he would be like oh let's do something to help him. So next Wednesday, January 16, we are having a spaghetti feed for Dave's dad at my school. It is also for 3 of his neighbors that were hit by the flood waters. It will be from 6-8 and we will be serving spaghetti, salad and bread. Any of you local Reno gals, if you feel like coming out let me know and I'll give you details. I just think it's cool that my principal even thought to do something. Oh we are also showing a movie...it's $10 for a family or $2 a person. You get to pick from the 2 different movies we will be showing too. It should be a fun night and hopefully it will be a good turn out!
Monday, January 07, 2008
Saturday, January 05, 2008
I know that even if you aren't in Nevada, you know what is going on in Fernley...it's on every freaking news station possible. You get the short version tonight...the version that I will tell because I am cranky, and pissy and very so very tired!
Started this morning at 8 am when people called to tell us that Mike (Dave's dad) house was flooded...as in under water people. GREAT! We get out there and what a mess...it looks even worse on the aereal views that you see on the news but it is insane what I saw today. I spent the entire day filling sand bags and then sweeping water out of Mike's house. Wading in knee deep water...good times! He was fortunate and the water never got in his house thanks to some smart guy that stuffed rags and towels in all of the vents of the crawl space before we sandbagged the house.
So after all that shit we leave to go home and it starts dumping fucking snow in Fernley...great! That means the roads are going to be hell coming home and no we can't stay in Fernley because we left the goddamn dog at home in his kennel! I called road conditions and miraciously the roads from fernley to reno were open with no controls. It was the only spot on 80 at that time that did not have road controls. Ok I can breath a sigh of relief...the roads were just slushy and driving slow enough we were ok...OR NOT!
Anyone hear about the fucking17 car pile up? Yeah us either until we ran into it and they turned us around on the freeway because now it was CLOSED! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW! So...what are we to do now...well they turned us around at Patrick and therefore we spent 2 hours passing the time at the local whore house! Yes we went and had dinner at Wild Horse to pass the time...beat sitting in the cold ass truck.
2 hours later we finally get back on the road and it's an incredibly slow go but that's just fine with me. The road is open to one lane and it is now dumping snow...can't see the road...me in the back of the truck FUHREAKING OUT! Finally make it to Reno after a 30 mile drive took us over 4 hours to get home. Thank god right...NO WRONG AGAIN!!!!
Walk into the dog that has been in the kennel all day and guess what folks...he shit all over it! Yes he shit all over the kennel, all over himself and it smelled rank. That is just fucking wonderful...really glad we didn't turn around and go back to Fernley and that I made the boys stay at the whore house...yes I had to make them you can hear more about that tomorrow! So we get the kennel outside and get the dog in the bath...yeah no way I'm standing in shit water so I drain it and turn on the shower. He is actually fine in there and not freaking out like I thought. Get him all cleaned up AND dried off...open the door to let him out of the shower...he starts spinning circles in the bathtub (THAT I AM STILL STANDING IN FOLKS) and throws up shit. You think I am talking hypothetically here like oh yeah he threw up some shit...no no he actually threw up the poop that he spent the day licking off of himself. WONDERFUL HUH!!! So we start the shower bath all over and I am trying my hardest to not throw up in the tub with him!
Yep that's my night...I am now sitting down and having myself a nice little cocktail or 7. You can see all the pictures, I have great ones and hear the story with details tomorrow I promise. As for tonight...I am taking my cranky ass to bed!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
But him having his night time friends meant I needed someone to hang out with while he was at work. I needed to be able to do something too because he couldn't expect me to sit on the couch and wait for him either. So I hung out with my new friends. Steve was my new friend and if you thought we spent a lot of time together for school...we became inseperable when we weren't in school. We would do our school routine during the week and then we would all go out on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. I wasn't 21 yet so a lot of the time we would go to some of Steve's friends house and party there. Monica was also in education and she and I became good friends during this time. So it was always me and Steve, Monica and our other friend Steve Gillespi (I will now refer to him by his last name so you are not confused!). When Jonathan was off he would hang out with us too and I still went and did some stuff with his friends, but I was putting all my time into Steve.
Many of you are going to assume what every other person that knew us at the time did. We were hooking up and having some super secret affair thing and really we were in love with each other. My mom thought that. Our friends wondered that. Even Chrissy (she liked Steve way back when and met her through him and then she ended up at my school and we became friends) said that she was cautious of me because she assumed we were together. Yes we were together...almost 24/7, but we were never "together". Because you see there was no physical attraction between us. I will admit that when I met Steve the first time in my class at TMCC, I thought he was cute. When he walked into UNR I still thought he was cute. The more I got to know him, and watched him with kids and saw him coach youth football, I thought he was down right adorable! But I was never physically attracted to him like oh my gosh I want to jump his bones. And I know that he never thought that about me either. We never hooked up not even so much as a kiss. And I had never wanted it to go that way. But my god what an emotional affair we had!
Some of you may ask what that is. I just found out like last year there was even a term. I was reading this article that a friend sent me about work relationships and people that cross the line. She was telling me about how it's one thing to be attracted and lots of people have affairs with coworkers, but the article talks about emotional affairs. Where people don't do anything physical but become emotionally attached to each other and that in the end it ends up hurting more feelings than an actual affair. For some people, yes you cheated on me but it's just sex and you still love me so it's ok. For others there is nothing ok about it at all. But for some, if there is no sex at all involved, it seems worse because you genuinely care about that person in the way you should be caring about your spouse. Now that you understand what it is...let me continue.
We had quite the emotional affair. He might not think that, but I do and that's what I refer to it as now. I put ALL my time and emotions into Steve. I would skip spending time with Jonathan if Steve said hey let's hang out. I would put things off because I wanted to do stuff with Steve or I was trying to be helpful and help him get something done. I typed all his papers (mainly because I get annoyed watching people type that only peck on the keys) and helped him through school. I listened to all his girl problems (and god did he have some) and provided the support he needed when his heart was broken into a 1,000 pieces. He went to the hospital to see my mom with me (you will see this turn later) and he even went to Winnemucca with me to go hunting once (that was much later). We literally did everything together. And if for some reason we weren't in the presense of each other, we were on the phone with each other. He would go home and every night, like clockwork, he would call me at 10pm. We could be on the phone for as little as 5 minutes up to 2-3 hours...and we had just spent all day together.
The more time I spent with Steve, the less time I wanted to spend with Jonathan. The more we grew apart and the more I knew that we shouldn't stay together. But I couldn't let go of that stability and neither could he. But I also didn't need to let him go just yet. I had all the stuff a boyfriend gives you from Jonathan, and what I wasn't getting emotionally from him, I was getting from Steve. Steve gave me all the "love" I thought I was missing from Jonathan. He gave me the time and emotions I thought Jonathan should be giving me. He gave me a picture of what a future with someone that loved kids was going to be like. He showed me what it would be like to spend time with someone you enjoyed being around and you felt secure and loved around. But at the same time, I knew Steve wasn't the guy for me...he just had all the qualities I was looking for. That's one reason we never became involved...I knew it would go no where. Trust me I considered it like a true young person would...what would it be like if I married Steve? While the concept of him was a wonderful future, he himself was not. I was not the eye candy trophy wife he was looking for and he wasn't as down to earth and fun as I had always thought he was. He was a disaster when it came to girls and frankly I didn't have the time for that.
Either way, he was giving me everything I needed at that time and I was falling more and more in love with the idea of him and what else there could be out there.
It was nice having someone to do all my classes with. And he wasn't bad on the eyes either. We had the exact same schedule. We would meet at my house in the morning, and go to class. We would go to lunch and then come back to my house to write lesson plans or do our homework for the day. On the weekends I would drive to Fernley and we would do our homework at his house. We did everything college related together...we might as well of been one student! Either way it was nice having someone to get through college with and it was nice having someone who seemed to care about me and want to spend time with me.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
We had a really nice Christmas. We opened our presents here the Friday before and enjoyed our Christmas together. For the first time it felt like a real Christmas...maybe because I remembered to take pictures...maybe because we actually waited to open the presents till the night we were supposed to!! Usually we open our presents whenever we feel like because we don't have kids that we need to wait for...so we become the big kids and want to open our presents NOW!
Saturday morning we went to Winnemucca and spent four days up there. We played lots of games and just spent time together...again it was really nice. My sister and her family got a new computer which is wonderful because now maybe she will actually use it! Their old one was slow and it frustrated her to no extent and now she is getting better about using this one and they have only had it a week. We had a funny opening our presents...her and I got each other the same present! She kept asking me if we were brining two cars and I said probably we always do because Dave will come back. Well it was weird the way she asked so I thought why is it so important? Dave and I bought her a big picture frame...one like this...
I can't figure out how to turn it so tilt your head! When Dave loaded it up he said well geez it takes up the whole bed of my truck...when he said that I got to thinking that she bought me one to...sure enough we both bought one for each other! I told her that I really wanted one for our wedding so that I can put our wedding pictures in our room and do them in black and white. Then she started saying that she always wanted one of those for the kids' pictures and everytime she looked for one she couldn't find one. I said oh well I just saw one at Aaron's Brothers and so we both went and bought one!
For the first time, Dave stayed for Christmas Day. Usually he leaves that morning when we go to church to go to Fernley to have Christmas with his dad. Well this year we decided we would go to church that night instead of in the morning so it was nice to have a little more time with him. Well not wanting to make a 2 hour drive home kicked in and he decided to stay there with me. I think it's because his dad has a girlfriend this year and has someone to spend it with. It has never bothered me that he went back, but it sure was nice to have him there that day. And that night it was even nicer! We ended up taking my dad to the hospital after dinner. He was having trouble breathing and we knew he had quite the cold so my sister was afraid that it would turn into bronchitus again like he had in March. Sure enough that's what he had and they just kept him over night so that he could get his oxygen levels back up and they could give him some breathing treatments. Both my sister and I are lucky to have husbands (I can almost say that right) that care very much for our family. Her husband was wonderful when my mom passed and actually took it just as hard if not harder than the rest of us. That night he called work and took off the next day so he could stay home with the kids in case my sister needed to be at the hospital. When we called him the poor guy was pacing with worry. Dave was constantly texting me wanting to know if they were taking chest x-rays to make sure it wasn't pneumonia. So we are both very lucky. My dad got out the next morning and I stayed one more night so that there was someone at the house with him. He was doing much better and I'm glad he didn't have to stay in the hospital long because last time it depressed him a little bit.
This post was supposed to be the post in which I gushed...but it turned out to be all about Christmas...so that means that the next post will be all about the gushing.