Friday, May 30, 2008


Hey ya'll!! Yep I'm down in Texas this weekend for Dave's little brother's high school graduation!! I decided I better write and say where I have been since I got two comments this morning about my story haha! I have been busy trying to get my report cards done because we had to leave for this weekend and school gets out on Wednesday so the past few weeks I have been way busy and haven't written anymore on my story. Sorry!! I even had a comment from someone that has been reading my blog and not commenting...whoo hoo my first lurker if you will haha! It's cool to know that others have been reading my story too!! And sorry Shawna I have sucked at blogging but trust me I'm sure I will have even more to add when I get home.

Aside from continuing my story (which I should be able to finish because school gets out on Wednesday so I will have lots of time to write whoo hoo!) I get to spend the weekend with Dave's mom this weekend. Ya'll (haha can't help's all I've heard so far since I've been here) know that I will have good stories about her considering I see the weekend going one of two ways...either we will have a nice weekend or we will not be speaking by the end of the weekend! I'm sure you can all guess which it will be haha!

So I promise to continue on the story as soon as I get home. And since school will be out there will be lots of time to write and you will have lots of chapters to read!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Chapter 27 and a half: A Side Note and an Update

Shawna left me questions about where things stand with Kenny and if he ever admitted to anything to me that night we had our big blow up. Shannon used all the words that I would have used to describe him (and I love love love her for that!!!) and wanted to know if he was in our wedding. I feel I need to give you all an update and how things played out with Kenny in the years to come.

First of all to answer Shawna's question, no he never once said anything to me that night about anything happening between us. He just kept asking me what the fuck...what the fuck and telling me that I was going to wake up Elizabeth and I needed to be considerate of my roommate! Clearly he missed that rule at our house. I repeatedly asked him about it and he never once said a word regarding what he had told Dave. And you think I'm joking about the 400lbs...that's really what he weighed!!! I must say that now he has had the lap band done and he looks great. He has lost over 200lbs and is doing wonderful...I debate about putting up a picture to show you all what I'm talking about. For some reason, I feel like I should not blast his photo all over my blog. But I'll be emailing them to you soon haha!

To answer Shannon's question, he isn't "in" our wedding. I made it very clear to Dave that while I understand that Kenny is his cousin and they USED to be very close, he was in no way welcome to stand up as a groomsman at our wedding. I said if he felt he needed to include Kenny in our wedding, the most suitable job for him would be an usher (dear god please don't let him walk Shannon to her seat!). I felt I needed to respect that Dave may want him in the wedding and I also felt that Dave needed to respect that I didn't want him as a wedding party member. So that is what he is...he's an usher for us. When Dave called to ask him to be an usher, he actually responded with the comment, "not a groomsman?" I of course asked Dave if he asked Kenny if he was out of his ever living mind because why in the HELL would we want him to stand up for us?? He said no and that he told Kenny besides our siblings no family was in the wedding. Thanks for standing up for me jackass...Dave isn't much for confrontation.

As I said Dave didn't talk to Kenny for about a year. When we all went out in a group if he was there Dave really didn't even talk to him...he might have said hi but not much more. After a while Kenny started to call him and Dave would talk to him. He still respects how I feel about it and so he will go to lunch with Kenny when he knows I won't be around. Or he will talk to him when he knows that I won't be home. It wasn't until about a year and a half where I could even go to the same room as Kenny without freaking out. I was so angry and I didn't know what to think of the whole situation. One night we were all going to go out to dinner. It was the first time since this all had happened that just the three of us were going to do something together. Dave was supposed to be home before Kenny got there but he wasn't. So it was just Kenny and I sitting in my living room for a half an hour while we waited for Dave to get home. He had just got a new car and when he came in I said "oh you got a new car." He responded with a yes and we did not speak another word until Dave walked in. Since then, we have been able to hang out with Kenny. We don't do it often, maybe once every three months or so. Dave will go to lunch and stuff with him, but we don't often all hang out. When I first see him or he walks in, those first five minutes are hard for me. I think of all that happened between us and I get angry. Then that passes and I tell myself that I have to be the bigger person, move on for the sake of it being Dave's family, and appreciate what I have in my life right now, Dave.

One thing I find very funny about the few times we would hang out with Kenny was that he ALWAYS managed to bring that night up. He would mention how fun that night was and how drunk we all got and all this stuff. I always gave him this glare like why in the hell would you ever bring that night up again! Especially in front of Dave. Not sure if it's his way of rubbing it in or what, but it always peeved me. The thing was was that his story ALWAYS changed. He never told it the same twice and I started to point that out to Dave. I told him that I never changed my story and still today I still told it to you guys the same way I told it to him that night. But Kenny's story was never the same. One night we were all talking and Kenny mentioned that I was so drunk I couldn't walk myself up the stairs. He said "I had to carry her to her room and I put her to bed and then went and watched TV on the couch and went to sleep." My ears shot up immediately because when he was telling this version of his story it was just he, Dave and I at dinner one night. I promptly kicked Dave under the table to draw his attention to what was just said. It was Kenny's little slip up that proved that I had been telling the truth all along and that Kenny had lied about the night! If I was so drunk and he had to carry me to my bed, there was no way that I was coherent enough to have done things with him. When we got in the car I asked Dave if he heard what Kenny had said and he said yes. I said that proves' everything I ever said and he told me that I was right. I guess some of that doubt had to have left his head that day and he must have known for sure he had made the right choice.

Chapter 27: Mending the Pieces

The Sunday night I returned home from Winnemucca was a very long drive. You want to talk about butterflies in your stomach...well I had elephants running around in there. I was so nervous about how things were going to go between me and Dave. Was he going to believe Kenny? Was he going to trust that I really wouldn't do that kind of thing to him? Aside from the nervousness in my stomach, I was still reeling with anger towards Kenny. I talked to Elizabeth most of the ride home. She decided that the only explanation for something like this was that Kenny liked me and he was going to sabotage what Dave and I had. She pointed out that when Dave would go home on the weekends, Kenny would stay. Whether or not she was right we will never know, but it was her theory and she stuck by it.

I pulled up to Dave's house in Fernley and went inside. We made brief conversation and when I tried to bring anything up, he just seemed to want to ignore it. I am not the kind of person to just brush something under the rug, especially not something as serious as this so we were going to get to the bottom of this. At the same time, I knew I had to give in a little to what he wanted because if I pushed him away here I might lose him forever. We talked for a while about our weekend and just simple small talk. It got late and I told him that I was going to head home. Since it was a Sunday, he usually drove in and stayed the week at our house. Of course I wanted this more then ever, but I didn't want to push. I asked if he wanted to come and he didn't say anything. I sat there for a minute on the verge of tears, truly believing that I was losing him. Then he got up and got all of his stuff and said he would follow me in. I smiled and went outside to wait for him. While I was calm in the house I was doing the victory dance and a big fist pump in my head!

Once we got to the apartment we went straight to bed. Once in his little comfort zone of my room, that's when he started to talk to me. He told me that he didn't want to believe anything that Kenny told him, but that was his cousin and he couldn't believe that he would just make something up. At the same time, he wanted to believe me because he really did like me. Again, I never said it didn't happen because I honestly didn't know for sure. I told him that all I knew was that I really cared for him, I was in love with him, and that was all I could tell him with certainty. Obviously he chose to believe me. At times, I often wonder if in the back of his head if he questions and still wonders if I am lying to him. It hurts my feelings to think that he would think that I would lie to him about something like this and it hurts even more to wonder if he really does have the doubt. I wonder if at times he wonders if he made the right decision to believe me because it hurt his and Kenny's relationship greatly. You see after this night of talking, Dave never went back to stay weekends in Fernley. He permenantly lived with Elizabeth and I until the end of the school year and then when she left for Washington, it was just he and I living there. He made his choice and chose his sides in this argument. And Kenny realized that. Dave cut all ties with Kenny for a long time. After almost a year, he finally started to talk to Kenny again and I had to learn to respect that. Dave understands my uncomfortable feeling when I am around Kenny and he respected that and chose to push Kenny away for a while.

Once Kenny wasn't staying with us anymore and he was also out of the picture, Dave was able to work on a "relationship". We spent all of our time together doing very couply things. We went to Arizona for my spring break and spent more time with his family. Again, Darrell could tell that we had something special but when someone asked if we actually dating, he never seemed to have an answer for that. Rather he would just smile or change the subject. After all we had been through, he was still hung up on this stupid label!


Dave's mom is officially getting a divorce. I guess things around their house have gotted really ugly and yucky lately and I guess that Darrell is finally going to move. He told her that he wouldn't contest the divorce and that he didn't want anything. He did want to take one dog with him and supposedly that was it. I guess he has turned a little shady and is trying to get money so he can go. She doesn't want to give him the money and I just think if you wanted someone gone so bad, you could give him the gas money to get to Montana. She could care less that it's over and he said that we could all go visit him anytime but he wouldn't have anything to do with her once he left. I guess she's already hanging out with this new "friend" and that she took the "friend" to meet her parents the other day. They all loved him and said he could stop by anytime. Kayla went over to his house to swim...and Darrell knows nothing of any of this!!! Dave and Kayla don't really seem to be too bothered by the divorce and all the while I am sitting here thinking..."DOESN'T ANYONE THINK THIS IS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT SAD????"

I know that Darrell isn't any of the kids' biological dad, but still he's been married to their mom for the last 7-10 years! When I met her she was with him and so that's all I have ever known. If my mom hadn't have died, my parents would have been married 42 years this year. Divorce is unfamiliar ground to me. She has done this so many times her kids are immune to it...I think that's incredibly sad! I can't understand how she and he can just write each other off. I mean if you are with someone for so long, wouldn't you feel the slightest bit sad when they leave? I knew that Jonathan and I weren't supposed to be together anymore but at the same time come the day he actually moved out and left, I was sad...a part of my life was over. How do you just not care at all about this person you have shared so much time and love with? I can't fathom it at all! I keep imagining what their goodbye is going to be like when he actually goes to leave? Will they hug each other and cry at all that this didn't work out and it was yet another of her failures of marriage? Will he just walk out the door and say nothing? I don't understand and it's really bothering me.

I tried talking to Dave about it last night and he said that he understood why I was so bothered by it. He said it makes him a little sad, but that it's not like him and Darrell were super super close. Still...he was there everytime we went to visit and he was also the ONLY person that knew that Dave and I would work out...he's the one that said I would be back and we should stop crying. Maybe I just have a soft spot in my heart for him because of that. Then I talked to Dave's sister and she said she was kinda sad, but it's been so yucky there now. Her son calls him Poppa so what's Daunte going to think when one day he's just gone? He's going to want to know what happened to that Poppa and why he can't see him anymore. She said she was just immune to her mom doing this and so you get used to it. How sad is it that you get used to a feeling like that?

Then when I found out that there was another "Friend" that was already in the picture I went from feeling sad to feeling really sad for Darrell and being angry. She took his guy to meet her parents for Christ sake and she isn't even divorced. The greatest part was that they thought he was a great guy and really liked him. While I'm not saying he isn't a nice guy, I am wondering what the hell they are thinking. They must know how their daughter works by now and they must know that he is more of a prospect than a "friend" Again...AM I THE ONLY PERSON THAT SEES ANYTHING WRONG THIS "FRIEND" SITUATION?? I don't care how unhappy you are, you need to take care of what you have at home and get that settled before you move on to something else! (And I believe this because I learned my lesson from doing it to Jonathan!...I was 20 she is 47ish!!! Big difference and she hasn't learned after 4 marriages!!!!) How can they just move on to accept this new guy when she is still married? What kind of example does that set for all of her kids? Dave and Kayla might be grown, but Robert and Brian are still in high they learn the way to deal with relationships is to make sure you have someone else picked out before you end the one you are in.

I don't know I guess I've just never experienced a divorce this close to me...never had one in my family and never remember friends' parents getting divorced when we were older...the friends' that I grew up with that had divorced parents were already divorced when they were much younger so I don't remember the divorce. I just don't know how to deal with it because I'm not going to pretend to his mom that I don't find this a little on the sad side you know.

What are all your guys' thoughts...anyone that has experienced a divorce or has advice for how I could just let this be and not let it bother me?

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Chapter 26: A "truth" comes out and a friendship ends

I say that a truth comes out, rather than the truth because that is how I feel. The story that was told wasn't the truth (at least I sure hope not), but another truth surfaced that night.

Dave continued to stay with us and he continued to battle about the stupid girlfriend label. One night Elizabeth were home and we were waiting for the boys to get home. The boys usually got off work, then met at the gym and then came home. The finally got home and Dave was really quiet. Kenny (read that blog if you haven't already so you can understand the Kenny story)wasn't saying much but they told us that they had to go to Fernley to get Kenny's extra set of car keys. Elizabeth and I found this odd because they were driving around in Kenny's car. They were gone for a while, but not long enough to go to Fernley and back...hmm weird. Dave came into the house, got his stuff and told me he was leaving. WHAT? Where the hell was this coming from...I hadn't even seen him all day what the hell did I do? He wouldn't tell me anything and stormed out of the house. He said that he would call me later that night and that was that. Clearly I am absolutely dumbfounded here! I have no idea what just happened. I decide to ask Kenny because obviously they had just been together and I was sure that Dave had said something to him.

Kenny told me that he knew nothing. He had no idea what Dave was upset about. I found this to be a farce (and what a lie that little fucker told!) and I needed to think. When I get upset I go for a drive and listen to music. I told Elizabeth to get something out of him and I would be back. She was a good friend and sat and asked him what the deal was. His "response" aka LIE was that I was smothering Dave...that I was just all over him and he needed his space. I come home and Elizabeth tells me all of this. I think it's very odd that Dave wouldn't have just told me this but I feel a little better. We all went to bed that night...KENNY SLEEPING ON THE COUCH IN MY LIVING ROOM. (this is important!) He called like he said he would and he was pissed. He was very sarcastic and short with me. He kept asking me how I couldn't know what I had done...he kept saying "You really don't know why I'm so pissed." Uh clearly I don't...that's when he dropped the bombshell on me!

He told me that I had "hooked" up with Kenny that night we all went out. He told me that Kenny had told him that we hadn't had sex, but that we had done more. I'm sure you all know how I get worked up...I think that comes through my writing. To say my blood was boiling at this point was a complete understatement! To say that I wanted to actually kill a person would have been much more appropriate.

To my knowledge (when I say I blacked out I honestly did) none of this had happened. However, I was honest with Dave. I told him that I honestly couldn't tell him if it had happened but I was pretty sure it hadn't. I didn't know and that was what was scary. It was also what was making my blood boil. Here's my reasoning: First of all I would never had chosen to come home and "hook" up with Kenny over Aaron any night and I told Dave that. I told him that clearly I would never have chosen to pass up Aaron and then come home and done stuff with Kenny...hello Aaron = DREAM GUY!!! Second of all, I woke up with all my clothes on. The same ones I went to bed with. I know when I have some drunk sex or drunk hooking up of any kind, that I do not put my clothes back on...I am going to lay there and go to sleep naked! When I woke up in the morning I had all my clothes on, my jeans were buttoned...everything like it should have been. So that means one of two things...either Kenny is a big fat liar (I like the thought of that one) and made up the whole story OR Kenny is a big fat fucker, that actually took my clothes off, did stuff with me, and then dressed me again so I wouldn't know (see why I really don't like that one!). I was devistated...first of all I felt like I was losing Dave, second of all I felt completely betrayed and violated by one of my good friends! I explained myself to Dave and told him that I really really liked him...I wasn't going to let anyone get in the way of that and I knew that in my heart of hearts. He was going to have to trust me on that one. He said he needed a few days and he would probably call me in a few days. He said he was not going to talk to me the next day so not to call him or anything. For once in my life I respected that and I think it was the best thing I could have done. I didn't talk to him the entire next day. Friday was the day after that and I was leaving to go to Winnemucca. I didn't think I would talk to him and I contemplated going to his work to see him. In the middle of the day, he sent me a text message. It simply said "drive safe to winnemucca." I knew that was my ok to talk to him again...I went to see him when he got off of work that day to talk about things some more. We decided that I would stop in Fernley on Sunday on my way back through to Reno. We would talk that night and see where we were going to go.

You guys thought it was time to go to the next chapter didn't you? You all forgot one important thing...KENNY WAS STILL SLEEPING ON MY COUCH!!!!!! I know this chapter has gotten long but bear with me. While I am talking to Dave that night, that shithead is asleep on my couch. I told Dave I was going out to yell at him and I would call him back. I left my room, went out there and screamed the shrillest scream at him ever! I asked him what the hell he was thinking telling Dave something like that and why in the hell he had never said anything to me after it happened if it supposedly did happen!! He acted like he was asleep and then kept saying "what the fuck" in this really sleepy stupid sounding voice. He kept telling me that I was going to wake Elizabeth up...uh no shit...if she wasn't already awake she's going to be when I go pounding on her door crying because of what an idiot you are!!! I still can't believe that he actually lied to us, telling us he knew nothing and then had the balls to actually sleep on my couch! Anyway...that's where mine and Kenny's friendship ends. He left me a letter the next day and left our house key there saying we needed time apart. I still harbor very ill feelings towards him and I try to get along with him only because it is Dave's cousin. The first few minutes I am around him, I can't stand to be there and then it gets better. But things have never ever been the same between us...he is always very short with me and me with him. I will probably never know what really happened and to me that is ok...all that matters now is that Dave and I are together and he chose to believe me over Kenny that day.

Chapter 25: What's in a label?

Now that he was back home in Reno, I thought for sure this was going to be smooth sailing. Silly me I had forgotten who I was dealing with. While he had expressed his feelings for me in Arizona, they were slowly carrying over into the land of Reno. He had cut off all ties with Steve...he only talked to him every once in a while but we weren't all going out. That helped out the cause because that was one less person to influence him. He started staying with Elizabeth and I and Kenny continued to stay with us too. The four of us were having a lot of fun and it was clear to the two people living with us that we were together. It was clear to me that we were together. However, it was still a little cloudy for him to figure this out.

Within weeks of him returning I asked if we were actually 'dating' know boyfriend and girlfriend for reals...hello third grade. He said something along the lines of a cloudy no. Wait moved back from Arizona to be with me you jackass what the hell do you mean we aren't dating! He kept asking me why I needed a label? Why did I have to be called his girlfriend if we knew that we were exclusively dating? Well let's recap...the last time I "thought" we were exclusively dating I made an ass out of you and me by assuming that concept. That's when Janna happened and I didn't need another one of those things. I tried to explain to him that calling me his girlfriend just set boundaries and made things more gray areas, then we knew what we were. It made perfect sense...if we already feel this way then why in the hell aren't we going to call it that?

You see in his warped mind, he felt if he put a label on it, then it was going to fail. If we were just seeing each other and dating, but not calling it something serious then it was ok. The minute he put that label on it, we were going to fail...just like when his mom got married. As soon as it was "final and committed" it failed. I tried to explain to him that if the label wasn't important to him , but it was to me to just give me the damn thing! We battled for the next few months for this stupid label until the night I thought I had lost it all. Talk about being blindsided.

Chapter 24 and a half: The new roommate

I guess before I can really write the next chapter I have to give a bit of an explanation about a new roommate that I had at this time. Kenny, Dave's cousin, was clearly missing Dave just as much as me. We found that when we spent time together, it made missing Dave a little less stressful for us. I was actually living with a teacher from my school at the time, Elizabeth, and she welcomed this extra company too because we had a great time together the three of us. Kenny would stay with us all through the week (he was living in fernley communting to reno each day) and then maybe go home on Saturday and then come back on Sunday.

While that whole month went on, Kenny stayed at our house. When Dave moved back, he just joined in too and started staying with us. The only difference was that once Dave was back, Kenny didn't really go home on the weekends. Dave would go home on the weekends (clearly annoying me because then I felt like I was just a place to'll see in the next chapter), but Kenny would stay. Elizabeth and I never thought too much of it because we were so used to him being there.

One night things went down between Kenny and I...I'm not sure where exactly it fits in the story because it occurred the month that Dave was away. It's not a topic I prefer to think about, talk about or even hint about, but for the sake of the story, you are going to have to know this even if I have to spare a few details. So it might not fit perfect here, but it's got to be told for the rest of the story to make sense.

The weekend that Elizabeth went to see her husband (she was living with me because he had gotten a job that he had to move for right then so she stayed with me till the end of the school year), Kenny and I went out with Teela and two other friends. We went to Trader Dicks and started drinking scorpions. All five of us shared the first one, the girls shared the second one, and Teela and I drank the last one. Needless to say Teela and I were beyond wasted. This is probably the drunkest I have ever been and the only time that I actually blacked out from drinking (yeah I good!). We moved our party to the Breakaway to see my friend Kevin from there. Well Kenny wasn't as wasted as us so he drove...we got to the breakaway and Aaron was there. Short backgroud, Aaron was the guy I pined over since age 2. We grew up together and I loved him...he was hot and when we got to college I finally hooked up with him. We are talking this is my dream guy. Kenny on the other hand weighed 400lbs (he has since lost almost 200lbs and looks fantastic!). I have pictures of both these boys, but for their sake I won't put them up here. Just keep the mental imagine as I dream guy and a 400lb guy. At the breakaway I had a special drink the bartender made me..."something sexy". I started drinking these like water and wandering around the bar professing to everyone that I wanted to go home and I wanted to talk to Dave. Aaron was sitting at the bar and he was hitting on me. He was flirty and he kept whispering in my ear "let's just go back to my can sleep there for the night like old times." Uh no thank you...I wanted to talk to Dave! Did you hear that...I just turned down my dream guy and I was WASTED! I was much less drunk the first few times I hooked up with him and allowed my bad judgement to take over there so clearly I was really liking Dave at this point! We decide to leave and someone was clearly looking out for me. Kenny drove us and he was drunk by this point...not a good choice and I have never made a choice like that again!

We took Teela home first. This was when we had all that snow and school was closed for like 3 days. I passed out in the backseat only to wake to Teela's voice saying she's going to kill me. I of course professed my undying drunk love for her even though she had just thrown up all over my car. I was too drunk to care. With all the snow my car got stuck. Since Kenny was driving, my drunk self got out and tried to push. Yeah I ended up face down in the snow. I get back in the car and the next thing I remember was being at my apartment. We had to park far away because all the awnings had collapsed under the snow. I remember getting out of my car and falling and telling kenny to just let me sleep in the snow. And that was the last thing I remembered from the night. I woke up the next morning, in my bed sleeping in the same clothes I was in the night before.

That is where I will leave the story...when I get to the other chapter this fits with it will make just needed the background to understand when I get there!

Chapter 24: A Long Month

Hopefully you guys are all caught up now...I blogged many chapters and then thought I would wait a few days so you could all catch up on reading them before I started more.

Much to my surprise, Dave kept his promise. He did call me everyday. As a matter of fact, I remember he called me on Christmas day and I still have that message saved on my cell phone (I'm a dork yes I am aware of this). The day we left for Arizona was the first day of our relationship. We talked every single day...hours at a time. And little by little, his mother was driving him nuts!! She wouldn't let him leave when he wanted to. One night he wanted to go to Wal-Mart at like 10pm and she blocked his car in, and hid the keys to the truck so that he couldn't move it and leave. Hello nutso! With that on my side, I started trying to convince him to come back home.

The more time we spent on the phone, the more he wanted to come home. He missed me and he was much more open with his feelings. The more his mom pushed and tried to control him, the easier this was getting. He decided on a date to come home and then I started looking for plane tickets. Of course I was going to fly down and make that 12 hour drive home with him. He kept being wishy washy and changing the dates that he was thinking he would come home. I swear to god that it was the longest month of my life! I finally told him one day that I was buying a plane ticket for the weekend of Feb 3 and that's when I was coming down. And that's just what I did.

When I got there, he was waiting for me in his car. I got out and it was butterflies all over again. I was like a little kid waiting for Christmas morning. He gave me a huge hug and then we picked up right where we left off. Oddly enough, there was a point in the weekend where I thought he wasn't going to come home with me and I was freaking out because I only bought a one way plane ticket!!! It appeared that his mom didn't know he was coming home with me and that's where I got my bad rap with her. It's all my fault that he moved back home and she holds that against me to this day. That's fine with me because ever since that day, Dave and I have been inseperable!

Sunday, May 04, 2008

A Closer Couple

Well we just finished up our Engaged Encounter weekend and I must say that it wasn't anything like we thought it was going to be. Both of us thought it was going to be a lot of sharing your feelings in a big group and I just knew that Dave wouldn't do well with that. Turns out that there was a lot of sharing of feelings, but everything was kept private between the two of us.

Friday night when we got there, I saw this guy that I went to high school with. Instantly we had a friend there and it was nice because it made it a little more comfortable. Then another couple joined us and we decided to be a six pack for the weekend so we were all comfortable. This morning they asked if we all knew each other before we went there and when we said no, they thought it was so funny because we got along really well. So that was one nice thing we left with two new couples of friends. Friday night was probably the worst because we listened to them talk, then we went and wrote seperately on our topics, then we met together and that was what we did all night. So we didn't have high hopes for Saturday.

Saturday was a very long day. But by lunch time, we were having a lot of fun. Right after lunch we played a yes or no game and it was hilarious to see the ridiculous things that couples disagreed on and even some of the serious things they didn't agree on. The weekend consisted of talking about topics that are we will encounter as a married couple. Our presenters were a couple that had been married for 43 years and a couple that had been married for 4 years. Then we also had Father Chuck there with us. They alternated on the topics and spoke of there experiences concerning these types of things. Of course the topic of sexual intimacy came up and the older couple had us all laughing when they talked about the magic blue pill!! Satruday night was probably my favorite, next to this morning. We had a nice candle lit dinner and then we had just a big group discussion. We could ask questions regarding the church or just simple wedding questions like where might we honeymoon type of things. It was just one big session of advice and then we went to a prayer session. As a couple we got to write a prayer together. I thought this would be hard for us and surprisingly it came to us rather easily. We agreed that we would read it the night before we get married. After our prayer, they gave us a candle to take into the chapel. If you stood, they would come pray with you, either your prayer or just a simple prayer that they had. If you sat, they wouldn't come pray with you. Openly praying is something very new to both Dave and I so we decided to just read our prayer together and then sit. It was the most relaxing part of the weekend. All the lights in the chapel were dimmed and all the candle light lit it up...they had soft music playing and it was really just calm and peaceful. After everyone had prayed, we formed a huge circle around the alter. Then they led us in a prayer where the girls had to take the boys' hands in theirs and they read about how these would be the hands that would hold your first born child and stuff like that...then the boys were asked to take our hands and listen while they read about how these were the hands that would be rough from dishes and folding laundry (dave laughed and put my hands down at that thought!). You had to look into your partners eyes the whole time and it was incredibly romantic. Very few dry eyes in the room for sure.

Then this morning we got to write a love letter to each other. They sent the girls to the library and we were all told to stay in there until the boys came to get us. Well we did our writing and they told us we had only a few minutes to finish up. Here came the boys...the first guy walked in and he had a rose...of course all of the girls Awwwed, thinking where the hell did he get that! Well then in came the rest of the boys and they all had single red roses...all the girls continued to aww and it was very cute watching the boys try to find their soon to be wives. Not only did they have their roses, but each guy was carrying tissues in his other hand haha! It was very sweet...we then seperated and went and read each others letters. Dave's was very touching, espeically considering he made lots of jokes on many of the writings in the weekend. I blame the people because they said that it was important to keep a sense of humor through the weekend and that gave him a free pass he thought! But his letter was very sweet and we will take our letters and save them in our wedding book.

So, I must agree with Lisa...I would recommend this to couples. There are parts of it that are very churchy, but there are also parts of it that really could help couples who are struggling with things from the past or concerns about the future. Obviously I didn't recap the entire weekend here because really no need to bore you, but I shared with you my very favorite parts!!

Friday, May 02, 2008

Our weekend

Well we are off to start our engaged encounter. Poor Dave is still trying to figure out what in the hell we are going to do for the entire weekend, but I have high hopes that it is going to be fun. If not, I am going to owe him a big one!! We are there tonight from 7-9:30, Saturday from 8:00am-9:30pm, and Sunday 8:00am-4:30pm! Wish us luck!

I'll blog about it Sunday night hopefully and then I'll have more chapters for you all. Figured I'd give you guys a few days to catch up on them all haha!