Divorce

Dave's mom is officially getting a divorce. I guess things around their house have gotted really ugly and yucky lately and I guess that Darrell is finally going to move. He told her that he wouldn't contest the divorce and that he didn't want anything. He did want to take one dog with him and supposedly that was it. I guess he has turned a little shady and is trying to get money so he can go. She doesn't want to give him the money and I just think if you wanted someone gone so bad, you could give him the gas money to get to Montana. She could care less that it's over and he said that we could all go visit him anytime but he wouldn't have anything to do with her once he left. I guess she's already hanging out with this new "friend" and that she took the "friend" to meet her parents the other day. They all loved him and said he could stop by anytime. Kayla went over to his house to swim...and Darrell knows nothing of any of this!!! Dave and Kayla don't really seem to be too bothered by the divorce and all the while I am sitting here thinking..."DOESN'T ANYONE THINK THIS IS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT SAD????"

I know that Darrell isn't any of the kids' biological dad, but still he's been married to their mom for the last 7-10 years! When I met her she was with him and so that's all I have ever known. If my mom hadn't have died, my parents would have been married 42 years this year. Divorce is unfamiliar ground to me. She has done this so many times her kids are immune to it...I think that's incredibly sad! I can't understand how she and he can just write each other off. I mean if you are with someone for so long, wouldn't you feel the slightest bit sad when they leave? I knew that Jonathan and I weren't supposed to be together anymore but at the same time come the day he actually moved out and left, I was sad...a part of my life was over. How do you just not care at all about this person you have shared so much time and love with? I can't fathom it at all! I keep imagining what their goodbye is going to be like when he actually goes to leave? Will they hug each other and cry at all that this didn't work out and it was yet another of her failures of marriage? Will he just walk out the door and say nothing? I don't understand and it's really bothering me.

I tried talking to Dave about it last night and he said that he understood why I was so bothered by it. He said it makes him a little sad, but that it's not like him and Darrell were super super close. Still...he was there everytime we went to visit and he was also the ONLY person that knew that Dave and I would work out...he's the one that said I would be back and we should stop crying. Maybe I just have a soft spot in my heart for him because of that. Then I talked to Dave's sister and she said she was kinda sad, but it's been so yucky there now. Her son calls him Poppa so what's Daunte going to think when one day he's just gone? He's going to want to know what happened to that Poppa and why he can't see him anymore. She said she was just immune to her mom doing this and so you get used to it. How sad is it that you get used to a feeling like that?

Then when I found out that there was another "Friend" that was already in the picture I went from feeling sad to feeling really sad for Darrell and being angry. She took his guy to meet her parents for Christ sake and she isn't even divorced. The greatest part was that they thought he was a great guy and really liked him. While I'm not saying he isn't a nice guy, I am wondering what the hell they are thinking. They must know how their daughter works by now and they must know that he is more of a prospect than a "friend" Again...AM I THE ONLY PERSON THAT SEES ANYTHING WRONG THIS "FRIEND" SITUATION?? I don't care how unhappy you are, you need to take care of what you have at home and get that settled before you move on to something else! (And I believe this because I learned my lesson from doing it to Jonathan!...I was 20 she is 47ish!!! Big difference and she hasn't learned after 4 marriages!!!!) How can they just move on to accept this new guy when she is still married? What kind of example does that set for all of her kids? Dave and Kayla might be grown, but Robert and Brian are still in high school...so they learn the way to deal with relationships is to make sure you have someone else picked out before you end the one you are in.

I don't know I guess I've just never experienced a divorce this close to me...never had one in my family and never remember friends' parents getting divorced when we were older...the friends' that I grew up with that had divorced parents were already divorced when they were much younger so I don't remember the divorce. I just don't know how to deal with it because I'm not going to pretend to his mom that I don't find this a little on the sad side you know.

What are all your guys' thoughts...anyone that has experienced a divorce or has advice for how I could just let this be and not let it bother me?