Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Chapter 25: What's in a label?

Now that he was back home in Reno, I thought for sure this was going to be smooth sailing. Silly me I had forgotten who I was dealing with. While he had expressed his feelings for me in Arizona, they were slowly carrying over into the land of Reno. He had cut off all ties with Steve...he only talked to him every once in a while but we weren't all going out. That helped out the cause because that was one less person to influence him. He started staying with Elizabeth and I and Kenny continued to stay with us too. The four of us were having a lot of fun and it was clear to the two people living with us that we were together. It was clear to me that we were together. However, it was still a little cloudy for him to figure this out.

Within weeks of him returning I asked if we were actually 'dating'...you know boyfriend and girlfriend for reals...hello third grade. He said something along the lines of a cloudy no. Wait what...you moved back from Arizona to be with me you jackass what the hell do you mean we aren't dating! He kept asking me why I needed a label? Why did I have to be called his girlfriend if we knew that we were exclusively dating? Well let's recap...the last time I "thought" we were exclusively dating I made an ass out of you and me by assuming that concept. That's when Janna happened and I didn't need another one of those things. I tried to explain to him that calling me his girlfriend just set boundaries and made things clear...no more gray areas, then we knew what we were. It made perfect sense...if we already feel this way then why in the hell aren't we going to call it that?

You see in his warped mind, he felt if he put a label on it, then it was going to fail. If we were just seeing each other and dating, but not calling it something serious then it was ok. The minute he put that label on it, we were going to fail...just like when his mom got married. As soon as it was "final and committed" it failed. I tried to explain to him that if the label wasn't important to him , but it was to me to just give me the damn thing! We battled for the next few months for this stupid label until the night I thought I had lost it all. Talk about being blindsided.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ok also everytime I read the name Janna, I think of a Janna I knew from school. I wonder if they are the same girl.