Saturday, January 05, 2008

What a Fucking Day!

Yes I will apologize ahead of time for all of the profanity that is going to litter this post. And if you were waiting for Chapter 3, you are going to keep waiting because I have had the day from fucking hell! Yes people my future father in law lives in Fernley!

I know that even if you aren't in Nevada, you know what is going on in Fernley...it's on every freaking news station possible. You get the short version tonight...the version that I will tell because I am cranky, and pissy and very so very tired!

Started this morning at 8 am when people called to tell us that Mike (Dave's dad) house was flooded...as in under water people. GREAT! We get out there and what a mess...it looks even worse on the aereal views that you see on the news but it is insane what I saw today. I spent the entire day filling sand bags and then sweeping water out of Mike's house. Wading in knee deep water...good times! He was fortunate and the water never got in his house thanks to some smart guy that stuffed rags and towels in all of the vents of the crawl space before we sandbagged the house.

So after all that shit we leave to go home and it starts dumping fucking snow in Fernley...great! That means the roads are going to be hell coming home and no we can't stay in Fernley because we left the goddamn dog at home in his kennel! I called road conditions and miraciously the roads from fernley to reno were open with no controls. It was the only spot on 80 at that time that did not have road controls. Ok I can breath a sigh of relief...the roads were just slushy and driving slow enough we were ok...OR NOT!

Anyone hear about the fucking17 car pile up? Yeah us either until we ran into it and they turned us around on the freeway because now it was CLOSED! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW! So...what are we to do now...well they turned us around at Patrick and therefore we spent 2 hours passing the time at the local whore house! Yes we went and had dinner at Wild Horse to pass the time...beat sitting in the cold ass truck.

2 hours later we finally get back on the road and it's an incredibly slow go but that's just fine with me. The road is open to one lane and it is now dumping snow...can't see the road...me in the back of the truck FUHREAKING OUT! Finally make it to Reno after a 30 mile drive took us over 4 hours to get home. Thank god right...NO WRONG AGAIN!!!!

Walk into the dog that has been in the kennel all day and guess what folks...he shit all over it! Yes he shit all over the kennel, all over himself and it smelled rank. That is just fucking wonderful...really glad we didn't turn around and go back to Fernley and that I made the boys stay at the whore house...yes I had to make them you can hear more about that tomorrow! So we get the kennel outside and get the dog in the bath...yeah no way I'm standing in shit water so I drain it and turn on the shower. He is actually fine in there and not freaking out like I thought. Get him all cleaned up AND dried off...open the door to let him out of the shower...he starts spinning circles in the bathtub (THAT I AM STILL STANDING IN FOLKS) and throws up shit. You think I am talking hypothetically here like oh yeah he threw up some shit...no no he actually threw up the poop that he spent the day licking off of himself. WONDERFUL HUH!!! So we start the shower bath all over and I am trying my hardest to not throw up in the tub with him!

Yep that's my night...I am now sitting down and having myself a nice little cocktail or 7. You can see all the pictures, I have great ones and hear the story with details tomorrow I promise. As for tonight...I am taking my cranky ass to bed!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh lordy what a day!!!

misguidedmommy said...

omg i'm going to barf eww shudder no no no no no no no ewwwwww

I'M SO FUCKING SORRY YOU NEED 10 DRINKS NOT 7 DEAR...AND SORRY BUT THAT DESERVES SOME EXTRA HERSHEYS KISSES!

Jayla'sMommy said...

Gosh, I am sorry that you had such a horrible day...

Stephanie said...

Holy shit, that sucks. I would have drank myself into a damn stuper after that one!! You poor thing!

Shawna said...

I know I really shouldn't be laughing but I am. I was thinking that the dog is sure preparing you for parenthood.

On a more serious note I am sorry about your FIL house, and I hope the weather clears up soon for you guys.

Hope you got some good sleep.

Anonymous said...

OMG! sweetie I hope you drank the bottle. After reading that post I need a drink. I hope things are better today.