Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A year ago

Steph wrote a blog and asked what we were all writing about a year ago. I couldn't even remember if I had a blog a year ago so I went to investigate. I find I did have a blog and then I was reminded of my this year is so much nicer than last year at this time!

I DON'T HAVE A STUDENT TEACHER ANYMORE!!!!!!!

Yes most of my blogs were about how I wanted to dangle my student teacher from her tiny toes and then possibly leave her there for a day or two. The blogs that weren't about her were about my kids in some way because I was still very new to blogging...I started blogging at the end of January of 2007. My other blogs were about our new dog, the grocery store and how it was my enemy (hmm that has changed some too now that I am eating better), how Valentine's Day will probably never be the same for me, and about the struggles that Dave and I were having because of our friends that were causing problems in our relationship. The one that I found the most interesting was the one about Alone Time.

We just went to our counciling session for our marriage this week. I haven't blogged about this yet because I haven't really had the time to get into it, but I will give you the short version. We had to take this focus inventory to basically bring out all the topics that they want to make sure that couples that are going to get married go over. Communication, finances, family of origin, parenting and stuff like that. There's a bunch of things. Well we take it and then we have to meet with a marriage counselor. No biggie until we get our results and we score like a 58. Well in a teacher's world that is failing! Then she says in this very caddy voice...well most people score in the 80s. So now I'm all stressed about this test. Anyway we go and meet and all it was was that Dave put unsure on a lot of things and there were a few he just read wrong because he needs detail and the questions were very vague and broad. So she said we probably would have scored in the 90s...making me feel much better.

Back to the point of this. One of the questions had to do with us agreeing on the need for alone time. He of course put disagree and I knew he would. As we talked with the lady I told her that in the last year I think he and I have really grown together as a couple. There have been things that we have really worked on together and we have changed for the better. For example, one of my questions was about sharing our feelings...I must beat the dead horse until I am done talking about it and he must have a few hours to process and then he can come back and talk to me about it. Alone time was another example. If you read the post about the alone time, I had no need for it. I didn't understand it and I always took his need for alone time about wanting to be away from me...that somehow it was connected to me. Over the last year I have learned that it has very little to do with me and everything to do with him just wanting some time to himself. He told her how I always said going to work was my alone time (obviously because I viewed alone time as time apart from each other) and that was true in that post a year ago. Now I understand that sometimes it's just nice to have alone time so I can blog without feeling like I am missing out on time with him. Or I can have alone time and read a book without being interrupted.

I was very nervous about this meeting this weekend and in the end I realized how much we had grown together as a couple for the better. And thanks to Steph for making me go back and check out my posts. Finding that alone time post really proved everything that I realized this weekend!
PS: Patty I promise to write more on my story tonight or tomorrow!
PSS: Jen I promise to have wedding dress pictures up hopefully this weekend...I need help getting into the damn thing and Dave can't help me!

4 comments:

Just Jiff said...

I am a huge advocate of alone time. And time out with friends away from the spouse doesn't count. I crave it and LOOOVE every quiet minute I get. Just makes seeing my hubby afterwards that much sweeter. :)

Stephanie said...

See how fun it was to look back?? I am glad that I wrote that post yesterday! :)

Shawna said...

It is crazy how much can change in a year.

My alone time is a neccessity. I don't get it enough but when I do I tend to do NOTHING. Seriously I tend to just sit and stare and think about all the things I should be doing.

What a good idea to go through some marriage couseling before hand. Is it for religious purposes or just because? Sorry if I am being nosey.

Jen said...

Dude I am STILL TRYING TO CATCH UP ON YOUR STORY. I am still at the beginning. Oh and want PICs still!

Also, I think that one of the main reasons Erick and I work so well as a couple is that we have so much time away from each other. That way we never get "sick" of each other.