Saturday, March 01, 2008

Marriage Counseling

Shawna asked if we went to that counseling session just because or if it was for religious purposes...and Shawna you can ask me anything...you were in no way being nosey :)

We had to go because we are getting married at Our Lady of Snows Catholic Church. Apparently, this is the only church in Reno that has couples take this FOCUS inventory. The lady explained that about 8 years ago there was a different priest there that was noticing that people that were getting married in the church were coming in like 2 years later to get annulments because they didn't know that their new spouse did this or that. He said that just because it was a sacramental marriage it wasn't changing how they went about divorces. So he researched and found this FOCUS inventory thing and had couples do it. I guess that when he left, he asked the Bishop if he would continue to do this inventory in the church. So that's how we came to do it.

I had to agree with Shawna because it did give you a change to talk about many things that either you might not have thought of yet or might not wanted to have talked about it. It goes over things like finances and how to combine two people's debts and monies. It goes over communication and how we talk about our feelings with each other. It went over our sexuality and discusses what we want out of our marriage sexually (which I found to be odd). I basically covers all the main things that can lead to divorces and annulments. So it was neat to see all the different things and until she told me on the phone that we scored the 58, I wasn't apprehensive about meeting with her. I was actually a little excited because I thought it would be interesting to see Dave talk about his feelings and things in front of someone else where he had to provide an answer.

I also chose this church because a teacher at our school got married there the weekend we got engaged. She isn't religious at all and she felt very comfortable with this priest. So really I chose the priest and the church came with him. I'm not a super religious person although I was raised in a Catholic home. I had always wanted to get married outside but with an October wedding, you can never tell what the weather is going to be like in Nevada at that time. I didn't want that added stress and so the church was the only other place I was willing to get married. Dave isn't Catholic and since Kristen, the teacher at my school, had such a good experience there I thought that it would make for a good experience for Dave. And he really likes the priest so I'm glad I went with that choice.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's awesome...a really good idea if you are marrying someone you should be able to talk about all those things. Glad your precanna was very helpful.

Shawna said...

There are things that come up in a marriage that you never would have thought of as being issues. It sounds like a good idea. Also giving insight into your partner that you never knew about them before.

Q and I did something similiar on our own. Something we found on the internet. I have been married to him for 5 years and have known him for 9 and never knew how important certain things were to him. It was eye opening. This survey included SEX too. Although I think I would be embarrassed to talk about that with a priest. AH!!!