Friday, February 09, 2007

Alone Time

Alone time. This is something I have no concept of. I don't need it, I don't crave it, therefore I don't understand it. I've had lots of people tell me that they enjoy their time away from their significant other. Yeah me too it's called work. That is my break from him and that's good enough for me. Now I won't say that sometimes when Dave is out hunting with his dad or doing something in Fernley that I don't enjoy my time to myself. But it's not something that I crave and feel like I need to tell Dave um I'm going to have alone time. I guess I don't need to make it.

Dave needs alone time. And when he says alone time, he really means that. It's not like he means code for oh I want to hang out with my boys or anything like that. It truly means he needs some time to himself or at most it means he is going to Fernley and will spend time with his dad. He has been cranky this week for some reason that I dont' get. This morning I sent him a text and said what is your deal. He informed me that he was having that feeling of needing to be alone and I just got annoyed. Like I said because I don't have those cravings or needs I don't get it. This means that your alone time needs an explanation in my world and I need to know EXACTLY why you want time to yourself. Did I do something to annoy you, are you unhappy with me? What is the deal here? I don't accept the answer I don't know. I get very annoyed at that answer and it just prolongs any possible fights that have started or will start in the near future due to that answer. Of course he says that he doesn't know I didn't do anything blah blah blah but because I don't understand this need I need a clear explanation.

So any thoughts on the concept of alone time? Am I just a nut because I don't have the need for it or is he really needing alone time because he is unhappy with something?
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2 comments:

misguidedmommy said...

okay. two different views. sometimes i really just need to be alone, like at the scrap store or whatever. and sometimes rob will retreat to his game room and proceed to ignore me for a couple days. i'm always like whats wrong, whats wrong, whats wrong and first he says nothing, then i dont know. so usually i just give him some time and sit down and really look at things around me with him and i. a lot of times it occurs to me that it probably isn't me at all, but possibly money or work or so on. so after a few days i approach him just sitting on the couch relaxing and say, so how is work or, hon, you know you can talk to me about anything right. a lot of times he just comes out of it, and a lot of times he says you know babe i've just really had a bad week at work and i didn't want to stress you out also. a few other things to consider, he is thinking of a proposal, so, he could be affraid of how he will pay for a ring, or how he will provide for you in the future, or worried that getting engaged or married will be a financial burden. he could still be scared of marriage. he could just be really thinking hard about things and making sure he is making the right decision.

also, being mean to him or sending him messages like that, will make him feel attacked when he is already upset. you have to really just take it in stride and let him come to you. part of marriage is learning when to step down, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS. I am the worlds most confrontational person ever. i want to know whats wrong now, fix it now, talk it out now and so on. rob on the other hand wants to think about it and then respond. Sooo Ang, when he gets like this, try something different, try sending him a message, saying, hey babe i know your kinda down right now and i'm here if oyu want to talk, or not, but either way i love you and i'm here. no matter what he will notice the change. and it wont be the first time, or even the second time, but eventually he will realize he can trust you and that you really do just want to LISTEN and he will come to you.

February 9, 2007 at 7:06 PM
Anonymous said...

I need alone time...a bit every day...only way I can preserve what's left of my sanity.

johnecother


http://johnecother.com/blog.html

February 11, 2007 at 9:15 PM

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