Valentine's Day

Yes I am aware that I have been away for a few days. We had our academic science fair at our school last night and that meant that I was at school for 13 hours yesterday! Yeah I came home and missed all my favorite shows because I fell immediately asleep!

Anyway on to today...it's Valentine's Day. Most would think I just LOVE this holiday. Not so much. 4 years ago, my old boyfriend, Jonathan, lost his little brother, Nicholas. He was only 13 and he died of pneumonia. He had down syndrome so part of his little immune system was already not up to shape, but still...if Winnemucca had any decent doctors at the time, it wouldn't have gone from him being short of breath at 4 to dead at 9. So for the last 4 years, Valentine's has sort of been spoiled for me...maybe spoiled is not the right word. It's just changed and I don't think of all the lovey things on that day...instead I think of Nicholas.

This works well for Dave. He of course isn't (well he wasn't he did a good job this year) big on the holiday because he didn't like all that mushy gushy type of stuff. So I always let him know that pink roses are always safe and if nothing else just don't forget the card. This morning he woke me up to give me my gift. Let me give you a preface to this morning. We had been talking about those boxes of chocolates that you can find at like Wal-Mart. I HATE those things and I said I would never ever want one of those because first of all it's not the good chocolate that I like...it's the yucky chocolate filled with yucky middle stuff. Again I would never want one. So you can just picture my face this morning when he handed me a box of those. Now I know it's the thought that counts but how many times do you have to say that you HATE those things for him to get the point? It was 6 in the morning and I didn't have my nice face on so I said am I supposed to open this?? Oh wait did I mention that he decorated the top with fuzzy pink fabric that was left over from the stocking he made me at Christmas and he wrote Happy Valentine's Day Darlin on it? He also glued a little bobble head jackalope to the top because of a joke we have that jackalopes don't exist and one morning in the shower I was bobbing my head whistling and I thought he was going to die of laughter...so he found a bobble head of a jackalope and glued it on there. Cute, thoughtful, yes...I'm still thinking that isn't going to make up for the shitty chocolate inside!! He said yeah you are supposed to open it! So I do and a starbuck's gift card pops up like a pop up card...inside there was no shitty chocolate...instead he had filled it with reese's peanut butter cups, pink and white M&Ms and the pop up starbuck's card. He goes I even tasted the chocolates that were in there and you are right they are gross haha!! So that was a very cute thoughtful gift and I was really surprised that he thought to get me that starbuck's gift card...he knows I like it but for him to think of that was really sweet. Plus I'm sure my candy will be gone by the end of tonight because really those are my favorites. Even his card was cute and somewhat romantic. I was expecting a really funny card with a nice little blurb from him on the inside because he doesn't do mushy gushy. My card was way funny and I just wrote something nice...his card was nice and he wrote something nice. So then of course I felt like I was inadequate! I gave him a huge bag of peanut M&Ms because those are his favorite and I also got him two new movies because he loves movies. He really seemed to like them but his gift was much more thoughtful.

All in all it was a good start to an ok day of the year for me. While I'm not with Jonathan anymore and I am able to have a "normal" Valentine's Day again because my partner isn't suffering from the same pain of that loss, I still carry that with me because I was at the hospital in Winnemucca when it happened and I had to call all over Reno to find Jonathan and then wait for him to make that drive. So today I will think of Nicholas and appreciate the great boyfriend that I have.