Apparently I am having sympathy hormone surges for Shannon. I started my period yesterday and WHOA...even I noticed how cranky I was. I reamed my student teacher, the dog, the cat and somehow Dave avoided it all. Must have been because after my first text of the morning he thought...oohh I might want to say something nice! He just said have I told you lately that I love you...good thing for him because the power surge of hormones missed him all day.
I notice today I woke up and feel like I could turn into the incredible hulk at any moment so god help the poor people that have to cross paths with me today. And of course my student teacher will be one of the firsts...that should go well.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
The wonders of a mom
So I promised a blog and a good one you shall have. Let me start by saying that Dave's mom and I used to get along really well. Then she started not being as friendly and there are some things that I quite frankly just don't like about the way she is a mom. Now, not being a mom my self yet, maybe I shouldn't judge. But common sense tells me that all one would need is common sense to know that she does not make the best choices in the realm of mommyhood.
The way to make this blog make the most sense is to have it done by each day of our trip. Then you can clearly see the progression of yuck that I endured for five days.
WEDNESDAY:
We are driving down to Vegas to stay the night and break our 12 hour drive up. She calls about half way there. She informs me that she is really excited because she got Dave's graduation present and she can't wait to tell me. But of course I have to keep is a secret. So I agree. (Now I don't believe that I have previously vented about her telling me that I can wait to give him his graduation party when they get here because they dont' feel the need to come to his graduation on time...they are waiting to come to a wedding a few weeks later and do it then...just understand that this annoyed me and I will be more than happy to blog about that next) She informs me that she bought him a digital camera. OOOHHH and with all the accessories you could possibly need. Hmm why am I suddenly trying to control the monster that wants to jump from my chest and strangle her??? Because in the converstation we had about the graduation party I told her that I wanted to buy him a NICE DIGITAL CAMERA for graduation. What the hell?!?! I said well jeez I'm sure glad you told me because I was going to buy him one REMEMBER! She said oh well he's getting it tomorrow when you guys get here so you would have known then. SUPER...I dislike you day one!
THURSDAY:
We arrive in the early afternoon at go to her house. She of course gives Dave a big old hug and then says hi to Eric. Yes is something missing from that sentence...yeah ME. She never said a word to me. I was there for an hour and a half before she spoke to me...not even a hi how was your trip. And only then when she spoke to me did she tell me that we really didn't need to go out to lunch we could just eat there. If I wanted to eat there I would have...I wanted lunch from Rally's! Jump forward to Thursday night. Kayla, Dave's sister wanted to take us out since Eric was with us. Well she has a son and asked if her stepdad would watch him. He said yes, apparently talked to Dave's mom and his mom said she was too tired and didn't want to watch the baby. LIAR! She wanted to go to the casino and gamble. and no I'm not jumping to conclusions...we made her tell us the truth. She is too tired to watch the 3 year old (well actually that was just an excuse) but she isn't too tired to go out and gamble. Your son is in town and you can't even spend time with him...gambling is more important. SUPER...my dislike is turning into disgust. My mom would never ever have done something like that. (Disclaimer...I could vent about this entire topic for pages...I will spare you but please know this is my biggest pet peeve with her)
FRIDAY:
We go golfing. Kayla and I drive the boys in the golf carts and soak up some sun. The mom calls and asks what we want for dinner. I said let's do something simple...nothing too big how about hamburgers. Somehow she agrees (she argued at first...she makes nothing simple) and she tells me to have us all meet her at the grandparents house since that's where we are eating. I pass on this message please keep this in mind it will make sense later. So we go to dinner at the grandparents and everyone is having just a fine time. No she hasn't really talked to me and only forces converstation if I keep at it and keep making her talk. But no just nice conversation because she likes me. So Kayla again wants to take us out (I could really care less because I don't like going out I"m boring) and no she wont' watch Daunte. The excuse today...we were mean to her and ignored her all day. HELLO IT'S KINDA HARD TO IGNORE SOMEONE WHO ISN'T WITH YOU! We were golfing all day and she was working. So she storms home. We go over there for Kayla to get clothes to stay at the grandparents...and the mom is in the room crying because we are so mean to her. Whatever she is the one ignorning us and not being friendly...well at least not to me. SUPER...why not act like you are 3? Dislike...disgust...get over yourself.
SATURDAY:
Here is the big day. We go to Mexico and she is meeting us there. I tried to call her and she didn't answer. Not two minutes later she got there...I said very nicely...Oh I just tried to call you and see where you were...I was snapped at...I don't have my phone and not another word was said to me. You can imagine that by today I really could care less if we ever visit here again...I mean I don't feel comfortable or welcome like I used to. See it hasn't always been this way. So we wanted to take Eric to this place called the Green Door. It's a bar so no kids allowed. Well guess what mom wouldn't take Daunte AGAIN! She gave 50 excuses and I just blew up. She goes just take him in there for 5 minutes and I said no...it's our vacation and you aren't going to tell us what we can and can't do. Then Kayla said she would go home and I said that's cool you can't even hang out with us. So the grandparents took Daunte for us and we stayed in Mexico for an hour. Then we get home and all of a sudden she is all keen to take Daunte so we can go out...why you ask? Because Kayla asked one of her friends to watch Daunte and she said sure...well the mom doesn't want to look bad does she?? SUPER...can you be anymore selfish???
SUNDAY:
This one might take the cake. Her birthday is tomorrow and I thought it would be nice if we took her to dinner. MY IDEA...MY NICENESS! So we all agree to go. We get to the restaurant and there is a 40 min wait because we are a party of 8. They check the other restaurant and then come back. We sit down and the grandma says who's name is it under? I answered Under mine. She asked again...I answered again. She looked right through me and said David whose name are we listening for? I shouted rather loudly back at her and said it is under my name...ANGIE! Then she goes oh well go and see how far up the list we are. I said NO. I said I told you guys that there were only 2 couples in front of us and that we only had to wait so long because we were a big party. We didn't even wait for a total of 20 min. We were expecting to pay for his mom...we got stuck paying for EVERYONE. Good thing they messed up 5 out of 8 orders or it would have been twice as expensive. So Dave and I split it in half and we go outside. Guess who gets told thank you 15 times from everyone...NOT ME! Not a single thank you until they said it to Dave so many times that he goes Angie too she paid for half and it was her idea. Then I got a mumbled thank you. SUPER...now it's both mom and grandma and I can't wait to leave.
So that was my story...I can't fathom this woman because my mom was incredibly selfless and his mom is incredibly selfish. Dave always acts like it doesn't bother him because he's used to it but deep down I know it hurts his feelings. And he said that's why we hadn't gone back for a while. We used to go often last year we went once. He said he didn't like that I felt uncomfortable and that I didn't like being there he said that made him feel bad.
So folks what's your advice??
The way to make this blog make the most sense is to have it done by each day of our trip. Then you can clearly see the progression of yuck that I endured for five days.
WEDNESDAY:
We are driving down to Vegas to stay the night and break our 12 hour drive up. She calls about half way there. She informs me that she is really excited because she got Dave's graduation present and she can't wait to tell me. But of course I have to keep is a secret. So I agree. (Now I don't believe that I have previously vented about her telling me that I can wait to give him his graduation party when they get here because they dont' feel the need to come to his graduation on time...they are waiting to come to a wedding a few weeks later and do it then...just understand that this annoyed me and I will be more than happy to blog about that next) She informs me that she bought him a digital camera. OOOHHH and with all the accessories you could possibly need. Hmm why am I suddenly trying to control the monster that wants to jump from my chest and strangle her??? Because in the converstation we had about the graduation party I told her that I wanted to buy him a NICE DIGITAL CAMERA for graduation. What the hell?!?! I said well jeez I'm sure glad you told me because I was going to buy him one REMEMBER! She said oh well he's getting it tomorrow when you guys get here so you would have known then. SUPER...I dislike you day one!
THURSDAY:
We arrive in the early afternoon at go to her house. She of course gives Dave a big old hug and then says hi to Eric. Yes is something missing from that sentence...yeah ME. She never said a word to me. I was there for an hour and a half before she spoke to me...not even a hi how was your trip. And only then when she spoke to me did she tell me that we really didn't need to go out to lunch we could just eat there. If I wanted to eat there I would have...I wanted lunch from Rally's! Jump forward to Thursday night. Kayla, Dave's sister wanted to take us out since Eric was with us. Well she has a son and asked if her stepdad would watch him. He said yes, apparently talked to Dave's mom and his mom said she was too tired and didn't want to watch the baby. LIAR! She wanted to go to the casino and gamble. and no I'm not jumping to conclusions...we made her tell us the truth. She is too tired to watch the 3 year old (well actually that was just an excuse) but she isn't too tired to go out and gamble. Your son is in town and you can't even spend time with him...gambling is more important. SUPER...my dislike is turning into disgust. My mom would never ever have done something like that. (Disclaimer...I could vent about this entire topic for pages...I will spare you but please know this is my biggest pet peeve with her)
FRIDAY:
We go golfing. Kayla and I drive the boys in the golf carts and soak up some sun. The mom calls and asks what we want for dinner. I said let's do something simple...nothing too big how about hamburgers. Somehow she agrees (she argued at first...she makes nothing simple) and she tells me to have us all meet her at the grandparents house since that's where we are eating. I pass on this message please keep this in mind it will make sense later. So we go to dinner at the grandparents and everyone is having just a fine time. No she hasn't really talked to me and only forces converstation if I keep at it and keep making her talk. But no just nice conversation because she likes me. So Kayla again wants to take us out (I could really care less because I don't like going out I"m boring) and no she wont' watch Daunte. The excuse today...we were mean to her and ignored her all day. HELLO IT'S KINDA HARD TO IGNORE SOMEONE WHO ISN'T WITH YOU! We were golfing all day and she was working. So she storms home. We go over there for Kayla to get clothes to stay at the grandparents...and the mom is in the room crying because we are so mean to her. Whatever she is the one ignorning us and not being friendly...well at least not to me. SUPER...why not act like you are 3? Dislike...disgust...get over yourself.
SATURDAY:
Here is the big day. We go to Mexico and she is meeting us there. I tried to call her and she didn't answer. Not two minutes later she got there...I said very nicely...Oh I just tried to call you and see where you were...I was snapped at...I don't have my phone and not another word was said to me. You can imagine that by today I really could care less if we ever visit here again...I mean I don't feel comfortable or welcome like I used to. See it hasn't always been this way. So we wanted to take Eric to this place called the Green Door. It's a bar so no kids allowed. Well guess what mom wouldn't take Daunte AGAIN! She gave 50 excuses and I just blew up. She goes just take him in there for 5 minutes and I said no...it's our vacation and you aren't going to tell us what we can and can't do. Then Kayla said she would go home and I said that's cool you can't even hang out with us. So the grandparents took Daunte for us and we stayed in Mexico for an hour. Then we get home and all of a sudden she is all keen to take Daunte so we can go out...why you ask? Because Kayla asked one of her friends to watch Daunte and she said sure...well the mom doesn't want to look bad does she?? SUPER...can you be anymore selfish???
SUNDAY:
This one might take the cake. Her birthday is tomorrow and I thought it would be nice if we took her to dinner. MY IDEA...MY NICENESS! So we all agree to go. We get to the restaurant and there is a 40 min wait because we are a party of 8. They check the other restaurant and then come back. We sit down and the grandma says who's name is it under? I answered Under mine. She asked again...I answered again. She looked right through me and said David whose name are we listening for? I shouted rather loudly back at her and said it is under my name...ANGIE! Then she goes oh well go and see how far up the list we are. I said NO. I said I told you guys that there were only 2 couples in front of us and that we only had to wait so long because we were a big party. We didn't even wait for a total of 20 min. We were expecting to pay for his mom...we got stuck paying for EVERYONE. Good thing they messed up 5 out of 8 orders or it would have been twice as expensive. So Dave and I split it in half and we go outside. Guess who gets told thank you 15 times from everyone...NOT ME! Not a single thank you until they said it to Dave so many times that he goes Angie too she paid for half and it was her idea. Then I got a mumbled thank you. SUPER...now it's both mom and grandma and I can't wait to leave.
So that was my story...I can't fathom this woman because my mom was incredibly selfless and his mom is incredibly selfish. Dave always acts like it doesn't bother him because he's used to it but deep down I know it hurts his feelings. And he said that's why we hadn't gone back for a while. We used to go often last year we went once. He said he didn't like that I felt uncomfortable and that I didn't like being there he said that made him feel bad.
So folks what's your advice??
Monday, March 19, 2007
I'm back...
Hello my blogger friends. I am now home from Arizona and boy do I have stories to tell you...trust me you are in for a long one. I had no time (or computer really) to write while I was gone, but you will all be filled in soon. However, right now it is beddy bye time because I am exhausted.
On another note...CONGRATS to Shannon on baby number 2. I sure did miss a lot being gone for five days!!!
On another note...CONGRATS to Shannon on baby number 2. I sure did miss a lot being gone for five days!!!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Arizona here I come....
So today at 4 we are leaving for Arizona. Dave and I and our friend Eric are all going for spring break. I am looking forward to it because while thinking the other day we haven't seen Dave's family down there since last summer and usually we go like 3 or 4 times a year! So it should be fun. We are driving to Vegas tonight and then on to Yuma tomorrow. Yeah doesn't sound like a very fun town, but hey it's on the border of Mexico so I get to go across the border and drink some lovely margaritas and eat some yummilicious nachos for CHEAP. Not to mention that Dave's grandma makes homemade margaritas and I swear the woman puts a bottle of tequila into them...oh yeah they are the best. After one you are pretty much done which is why I thouroughly enjoy sleeping at her house becuase it is within stumbling distance of where I am consuming my alcohol. And remember that I'm not much of a drinker! But I look forward to these awful things...yeah they are rough going down but after you get that first one down...oh sweetness is what the rest of them are!
As for today, I went shopping at Old Navy at the encouragement of Shannon last night. We went shopping at Mervyn's and Target last night and I got some cute things and then today it was Old Navy. Seriously you must take a large wad of money in there with you because I wanted to buy the store. And the great/sad thing was everything fit me today. It was great becuase I was like yay! It was sad because I'm not a fan of the size and then I wanted to buy EVERYTHING! I didn't however leave with everything...just some flip flops, capris, tank tops and I was even nice and bought Dave a shirt and some flip flops.
Now instead of sitting here writing this pointless blog for all of you, I should be packing. However, this sounded more fun. I will have a blog for you when I get back full of great stories and hopefully some wonderful pictures!!
As for today, I went shopping at Old Navy at the encouragement of Shannon last night. We went shopping at Mervyn's and Target last night and I got some cute things and then today it was Old Navy. Seriously you must take a large wad of money in there with you because I wanted to buy the store. And the great/sad thing was everything fit me today. It was great becuase I was like yay! It was sad because I'm not a fan of the size and then I wanted to buy EVERYTHING! I didn't however leave with everything...just some flip flops, capris, tank tops and I was even nice and bought Dave a shirt and some flip flops.
Now instead of sitting here writing this pointless blog for all of you, I should be packing. However, this sounded more fun. I will have a blog for you when I get back full of great stories and hopefully some wonderful pictures!!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Girls VS Boys
Something that I have been wanting to blog about for a while now is the difference between girls and boys. Ok I am aware that this could be a very long blog, but there is just one thing that I find so funny that differs between the two sexes. Let me give you an example:
A girl is out of running errands while her boyfriend is out golfing with the boys (and no this example is not about me!). She expects to come home and have just her boyfriend and their roommate there and have a nice relaxing night. To her surprise, she comes home to a house full of boys who are watching the UFC fight. Her boyfriend says, oh sorry I forgot to tell you we rented the fight. This calm girl was annoyed but chose to blow it off and just forget about it (see told you it wasn't about me I would have been bitchy!) As the fight wraps up, her boyfriend proceeds to ask the boys if they are ready. Again to her surprise, the boys are going into Reno (they live in Fernley) to play poker. She is upset because he didn't tell her, he is upset because he didn't know he had to check in. So here is my question...
Why is it that the exact same act is seen as a simple consideration from a girls point of view and is seen as "checking in" in a negative way from a boys point of view?
This example came from my friend Jamie, but I have had several instances of it myself. Something so simple as saying hey I'm going to play golf this Saturday or hey we are grabbing drinks after the game today is considerate in my book. I don't feel like Dave is checking in with me because he has to, I see it as a consideration so that I don't worry when he's not home when he said he would. Or if you are running late, a simple call to say hey we didn't leave when we thought we will be about another hour more. Consideration. Coming from a guy point of view (or at least the guys in our group) this is RIDICULOUS and annoying of the girlfriend to ask for. They are grown ass men and they don't need to check in...we aren't their mothers after all. True, but is it so much to ask for a little consideration?
I mean even when I lived with my friend Monica, I would call and say hey I'm not going to be home for dinner or leave the house and say I'm running to Target. I never once thought of this as checking in with her, but more of being considerate in case she wanted to do something or maybe needed something from the store I was running to. I think if you live with someone it is just common sense to let them know where you are going. But maybe that's just me or girls in general.
I believe it is this exact issue that causes the fights in our group of friend's relationships. Something so simple to fix is at a stalemate when it comes to the two sexes. We think the boys are irrational because it's so simple, they think we are annyoing trying to check up on them. Apparently, however, Dave has finally learned this simple little trick.
Thursday night Kenny stayed with us. I don't mind when Kenny stays with us, but there is always a five minute tension for me to get over from the past. It doesn't take me long and I'm fine, but after our little episode from a while ago, I can only take him in little doses. So Friday Dave texted me and asked if I had any plans for the night of if I wanted to do anything because Kenny wanted to come over and have Dave help him take off his tint on his windows. The simple consideration was astounding. I said I didn't and I didn't care if he came over but that I really appreciated that he gave me some heads up or considered if I might want to do something first before just TELLING me that Kenny was coming over and they had plans. I appreciated the simple act. When he got home that night I said it again and just said see how something so little and simple can aleviate any possible fighting or irriations? I can only hope that these simple acts continue and that the difference between consideration and checking in has finally become clear to him.
A girl is out of running errands while her boyfriend is out golfing with the boys (and no this example is not about me!). She expects to come home and have just her boyfriend and their roommate there and have a nice relaxing night. To her surprise, she comes home to a house full of boys who are watching the UFC fight. Her boyfriend says, oh sorry I forgot to tell you we rented the fight. This calm girl was annoyed but chose to blow it off and just forget about it (see told you it wasn't about me I would have been bitchy!) As the fight wraps up, her boyfriend proceeds to ask the boys if they are ready. Again to her surprise, the boys are going into Reno (they live in Fernley) to play poker. She is upset because he didn't tell her, he is upset because he didn't know he had to check in. So here is my question...
Why is it that the exact same act is seen as a simple consideration from a girls point of view and is seen as "checking in" in a negative way from a boys point of view?
This example came from my friend Jamie, but I have had several instances of it myself. Something so simple as saying hey I'm going to play golf this Saturday or hey we are grabbing drinks after the game today is considerate in my book. I don't feel like Dave is checking in with me because he has to, I see it as a consideration so that I don't worry when he's not home when he said he would. Or if you are running late, a simple call to say hey we didn't leave when we thought we will be about another hour more. Consideration. Coming from a guy point of view (or at least the guys in our group) this is RIDICULOUS and annoying of the girlfriend to ask for. They are grown ass men and they don't need to check in...we aren't their mothers after all. True, but is it so much to ask for a little consideration?
I mean even when I lived with my friend Monica, I would call and say hey I'm not going to be home for dinner or leave the house and say I'm running to Target. I never once thought of this as checking in with her, but more of being considerate in case she wanted to do something or maybe needed something from the store I was running to. I think if you live with someone it is just common sense to let them know where you are going. But maybe that's just me or girls in general.
I believe it is this exact issue that causes the fights in our group of friend's relationships. Something so simple to fix is at a stalemate when it comes to the two sexes. We think the boys are irrational because it's so simple, they think we are annyoing trying to check up on them. Apparently, however, Dave has finally learned this simple little trick.
Thursday night Kenny stayed with us. I don't mind when Kenny stays with us, but there is always a five minute tension for me to get over from the past. It doesn't take me long and I'm fine, but after our little episode from a while ago, I can only take him in little doses. So Friday Dave texted me and asked if I had any plans for the night of if I wanted to do anything because Kenny wanted to come over and have Dave help him take off his tint on his windows. The simple consideration was astounding. I said I didn't and I didn't care if he came over but that I really appreciated that he gave me some heads up or considered if I might want to do something first before just TELLING me that Kenny was coming over and they had plans. I appreciated the simple act. When he got home that night I said it again and just said see how something so little and simple can aleviate any possible fighting or irriations? I can only hope that these simple acts continue and that the difference between consideration and checking in has finally become clear to him.
A New Approach
After the last golfing day in Fernley, Dave and I had a fight. He thought I didn't trust him because of the things I said and I said it had nothing to do with trust. It had to do with inconsideration and lying about stupid stuff. The boys are out golfing again today because it is our friend Eric's birthday. So I said on Wednesday that Saturday should be an interesting night. They are out drinking all day and drinking in our group of friends just never seems to mix well as the night goes on. Dave tried to bring up the trust thing again. I quickly pointed out that if it was trust in his eyes, then apparently I didn't trust him because he always proved me right. He always did what his friends wanted and never thought for himself. He lied for stupid reasons and took his sweet time because that's what his friends wanted to do. So he wanted to know what he could do to change my thoughts. I said it was simple, prove me wrong. When you go out with the boys avoid doing all the things I am sure you are going to do. Prove me wrong and don't do them. Very simple.
So today he left and asked if I would take his truck to have his tires balanced and rotated. On my previous blog about this subject, Shannon suggested that I just send him a message saying that I hoped he was having a good time. (The previous golf date I left him alone and never wrote him or bothered him thinking he was enjoying his time with the boys and wouldn't want me pestering him, yet he was shocked when I didn't write him.) So while I was taking his truck down to the shop, I thought about this. I thought maybe instead of writing or calling him, I will just do something nice for him. I was going to take a different approach to the whole weekend in general. I am going to be nice...not just for the sake of getting along nice, but really genuinely nice. No arguing, no getting upset over anything little just be nice and go with the flow. (I say this now if any of you would like to check on me around 7 p.m. tonight when we are all at dinner it could be a different story) Instead of writing him, I went and washed his truck, vaccuumed it out, put the airfreshener in that I know he really likes, and cleaned all the puppy nose prints off of the windows. I figured that I would surprise him with this when we all meet up tonight for dinner. I drove home and grabbed lunch. As I was eating, I got a text message from him. He asked how I was doing and I thought it was very nice of him to think of me while he was out with the boys. Nice to know that I crossed his mind and it wasn't a total rag session on what shits their girlfriends are. So...I wrote back and told him what I had done for him and said I hoped that he was having a good time. He responded to tell me that I was the best! He seemed to want to chit chat a little, but I just wrote and said have fun see you when you get home so that I didn't bother him.
Apparently my new approach to doing nice things and not letting the little things bother me is already working. Karma is on my side! That or he is finally going to prove me wrong and do the nice things that make me feel good too...which in that case GREAT! I would love to be proved wrong in this instance!
So today he left and asked if I would take his truck to have his tires balanced and rotated. On my previous blog about this subject, Shannon suggested that I just send him a message saying that I hoped he was having a good time. (The previous golf date I left him alone and never wrote him or bothered him thinking he was enjoying his time with the boys and wouldn't want me pestering him, yet he was shocked when I didn't write him.) So while I was taking his truck down to the shop, I thought about this. I thought maybe instead of writing or calling him, I will just do something nice for him. I was going to take a different approach to the whole weekend in general. I am going to be nice...not just for the sake of getting along nice, but really genuinely nice. No arguing, no getting upset over anything little just be nice and go with the flow. (I say this now if any of you would like to check on me around 7 p.m. tonight when we are all at dinner it could be a different story) Instead of writing him, I went and washed his truck, vaccuumed it out, put the airfreshener in that I know he really likes, and cleaned all the puppy nose prints off of the windows. I figured that I would surprise him with this when we all meet up tonight for dinner. I drove home and grabbed lunch. As I was eating, I got a text message from him. He asked how I was doing and I thought it was very nice of him to think of me while he was out with the boys. Nice to know that I crossed his mind and it wasn't a total rag session on what shits their girlfriends are. So...I wrote back and told him what I had done for him and said I hoped that he was having a good time. He responded to tell me that I was the best! He seemed to want to chit chat a little, but I just wrote and said have fun see you when you get home so that I didn't bother him.
Apparently my new approach to doing nice things and not letting the little things bother me is already working. Karma is on my side! That or he is finally going to prove me wrong and do the nice things that make me feel good too...which in that case GREAT! I would love to be proved wrong in this instance!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Why I teach
This partially is a spin off of the midterm because the question came from there. My student teacher asked me how I don't get frustrated with the students. This question came from when we were reading with my two lowest students. We are in the middle of the third grade and these kids are reading at the end of first grade level. So yeah they are behind. My initial answer to her was I just don't. They are trying their hardest.
After I came home and really thought about this question. How do I keep my head and not get frustrated when a kid can't read a word? How do I not get frustrated when they can't sound out a word as simple as want or side? So I really thought about it. The reason I don't get frustrated is because this is exactly why I became a teacher. I didn't become a teacher to have summers off or to have it easy because all my kids could read at grade level. I became a teacher so that I could make a difference in a kids learning. I want to see the light bulb go off and see a kid understand something for the first time. It is the best feeling in the world.
Each year I try to find one kid that I can really really focus on. One kid that I call my project kid. Maybe they have a rough home life and they need just a little bit extra TLC. Maybe they have a really hard time reading and I push them and push them until they are at least a third grade level. This doesn't mean that I ignore my other kids or I don't care about them as much. But usually there is one kid that just needs a little more than the others.
It is the lower kids that struggle that need you. A kid that is in third grade reading at a fifth grade level needs you to learn new knowledge. But school comes easy to them, they don't need to read out loud to you everyday to hear themselves say the words correctly, and they don't need the extra help working on their math or learning to spell. They need you to give them new information, guide them on the few things they are confused on and basically watch them as they grow with very little of your help. The low kids however, need you. They are the reason you are a teacher. They need your help and your knowledge and your expertise in the area to help them get through life. They need you to listen to them read each day so that they know they are saying the words right. They need you to ask them questions as they read the book so that they can pass the comprehension test that goes with the book. They need you to go over their sight words so that words like want and side just become second nature and they don't have to sound them out or even try. They just know them. Your lower kids are going to remember that you took all those extra minutes with them to help them be successful little people. They will remember that you were the only safe place to come to and that you truly cared if they were taken care of. I had a little boy like that last year. He had a bad homelife and I put my everything into making him believe in himself and succeed. By the end of the year I had him only a few months below grade level and he had a positive attitude. He cried the last day of school because he said now no one will care about him. He truly believed that I was the only person that REALLY cared if he was taken care of, nurtured and loved each day. He didn't get this sense at home and trust me the kid wasn't making it up. I took him to the rodeo this summer because even after school was out, I talked to him at least once a week to see how he was and he would come and read with me each week to keep up on his skills. The night of the rodeo I picked him up and while we waited for Dave I made him macaroni and cheese for dinner. He must have said thank you at least ten times and when Dave walked through the door he said Miss Plaza is the best cook you don't know what you are talking about. she makes the best macaroni and cheese. Hello, it was from a box nothing special. But I took them time to make something for him and make sure he was taken care of. This mattered to him and he will always remember those things that I did. Don't get me wrong. Your high kids will remember you too, but they will also remember their fourth grade, fifth grade and sixth grade teachers for the cool things they did. To the kids you spend the extra minutes with because they truly truly need it, they will remember you because you made them important and even if their fourth, fifth and sixth grade teachers are really cool, their third grade teacher was the best and really sticks out in their minds.
It is those students that remind me each day why I became a teacher. That little boy above was always in trouble at school as well and he made each of my days hard to deal with because I was always discipling him or defending him from the principal. But the day she tried to move him from my class to make my life easier so he was away from my other boy that caused trouble (they were horrible together) I cried. I fought with her and said absolutely not will you take him away. I said I made progress with him and no one else is going to get credit or take them time with him like I did. She reminded me how hard it was to have them both and that it would make my class easier and I said no. No matter how hard he made my day, I refused to give him up. At the end of the year it was all worth it. The little boy took forever to leave my room and circled me and then finally broke down in tears. We sat on the couch in my room for an hour after school that day and both cried. I had done my job and he had found some safety and comfort.
So how don't I get frustrated with the kids that struggle? I think about this boy and my little girl this year that started at a kindergarten level and is now in special ed and is also up to a second grade level. I remember that at times, I am all they have to feel safe or feel smart. I am all they can trust to help them because mom is at home and can't or is working two jobs to make sure her child is taken care of and doesn't have time between them to help with homework. I don't get frustrated because it's those kids that made me want to become a teacher and make me love my job everyday.
After I came home and really thought about this question. How do I keep my head and not get frustrated when a kid can't read a word? How do I not get frustrated when they can't sound out a word as simple as want or side? So I really thought about it. The reason I don't get frustrated is because this is exactly why I became a teacher. I didn't become a teacher to have summers off or to have it easy because all my kids could read at grade level. I became a teacher so that I could make a difference in a kids learning. I want to see the light bulb go off and see a kid understand something for the first time. It is the best feeling in the world.
Each year I try to find one kid that I can really really focus on. One kid that I call my project kid. Maybe they have a rough home life and they need just a little bit extra TLC. Maybe they have a really hard time reading and I push them and push them until they are at least a third grade level. This doesn't mean that I ignore my other kids or I don't care about them as much. But usually there is one kid that just needs a little more than the others.
It is the lower kids that struggle that need you. A kid that is in third grade reading at a fifth grade level needs you to learn new knowledge. But school comes easy to them, they don't need to read out loud to you everyday to hear themselves say the words correctly, and they don't need the extra help working on their math or learning to spell. They need you to give them new information, guide them on the few things they are confused on and basically watch them as they grow with very little of your help. The low kids however, need you. They are the reason you are a teacher. They need your help and your knowledge and your expertise in the area to help them get through life. They need you to listen to them read each day so that they know they are saying the words right. They need you to ask them questions as they read the book so that they can pass the comprehension test that goes with the book. They need you to go over their sight words so that words like want and side just become second nature and they don't have to sound them out or even try. They just know them. Your lower kids are going to remember that you took all those extra minutes with them to help them be successful little people. They will remember that you were the only safe place to come to and that you truly cared if they were taken care of. I had a little boy like that last year. He had a bad homelife and I put my everything into making him believe in himself and succeed. By the end of the year I had him only a few months below grade level and he had a positive attitude. He cried the last day of school because he said now no one will care about him. He truly believed that I was the only person that REALLY cared if he was taken care of, nurtured and loved each day. He didn't get this sense at home and trust me the kid wasn't making it up. I took him to the rodeo this summer because even after school was out, I talked to him at least once a week to see how he was and he would come and read with me each week to keep up on his skills. The night of the rodeo I picked him up and while we waited for Dave I made him macaroni and cheese for dinner. He must have said thank you at least ten times and when Dave walked through the door he said Miss Plaza is the best cook you don't know what you are talking about. she makes the best macaroni and cheese. Hello, it was from a box nothing special. But I took them time to make something for him and make sure he was taken care of. This mattered to him and he will always remember those things that I did. Don't get me wrong. Your high kids will remember you too, but they will also remember their fourth grade, fifth grade and sixth grade teachers for the cool things they did. To the kids you spend the extra minutes with because they truly truly need it, they will remember you because you made them important and even if their fourth, fifth and sixth grade teachers are really cool, their third grade teacher was the best and really sticks out in their minds.
It is those students that remind me each day why I became a teacher. That little boy above was always in trouble at school as well and he made each of my days hard to deal with because I was always discipling him or defending him from the principal. But the day she tried to move him from my class to make my life easier so he was away from my other boy that caused trouble (they were horrible together) I cried. I fought with her and said absolutely not will you take him away. I said I made progress with him and no one else is going to get credit or take them time with him like I did. She reminded me how hard it was to have them both and that it would make my class easier and I said no. No matter how hard he made my day, I refused to give him up. At the end of the year it was all worth it. The little boy took forever to leave my room and circled me and then finally broke down in tears. We sat on the couch in my room for an hour after school that day and both cried. I had done my job and he had found some safety and comfort.
So how don't I get frustrated with the kids that struggle? I think about this boy and my little girl this year that started at a kindergarten level and is now in special ed and is also up to a second grade level. I remember that at times, I am all they have to feel safe or feel smart. I am all they can trust to help them because mom is at home and can't or is working two jobs to make sure her child is taken care of and doesn't have time between them to help with homework. I don't get frustrated because it's those kids that made me want to become a teacher and make me love my job everyday.
The Midterm
So today was the day of my student teacher's midterm. We met with her supervisor and the two of us and we go over her performance as a whole this far. I was super excited and dreading it a little because here was my chance to really lay it all out for her with someone else there to back me up. I had an entire "speech" prepared to tell her about the two things that she really needed to work on with examples for when she gave an excuse about why she didn't do it. She is the queen of excuses let me just tell you.
So before that meeting we had a site leadership meeting where a representative of each grade level comes together to have a meeting with our principal. She shows up late (on her midterm day let me remind you) to this meeting. Aside from the fact that I have a very low tolerance for tardiness (espcially chronic tardiness) she walks in late to a meeting with the guy that has the potential to hire her. If anything she should have been 10 minutes early. So that didn't start the morning off super.
Back to the midterm. We go in and I am all set and ready to lay it down for her. Her supervisor started right in and said that we noticed that she didn't handle stress very well (that was a nice way of saying she is snotty when we give her suggestions) and asked if everything was ok at home. She immediately got this look on her face like I should know what the hell is going on...my intern hasn't said anything to me that something was wrong at home. This was my intern's response:
"well yeah it's fine...but this is the first time Angie is going to hear this but I went to the Dr. on Monday and I am pregnant!"
The only thought that instantaneously went through my head was FUCK! I know I should be happy for her and her husband but she already doesn't take criticism well or even simple suggestions...add pregnant hormones in with that and I should have gray hairs by the end of April. How am I supposed to drop this massive bomb of badassness (you like the word) and tell her how to be a better teacher after that comment? Yeah she took the wind out of my sails and depleated my speech right out the window. I did however, stay strong and still tell her that she can't take everything so personal. If the kids don't get it, it't not always her fault. Maybe it's just really hard and they need more practice. If they are trying their very very hardest, you can't get frustrated and upset with the kids. They struggle with reading and just because it came easy for her it doesn't for these two that she gets upset with (she informed us that this was the reason she gets frustrated because she doesn't understand why it is hard).
After the initial shock of hearing that on top of dealing with her being difficult to work with at times, I got over it and realized that I was happy for her. She is happy to be pregnant but at the same time her and her husband just moved into a one bedroom apartment and while they have talked about kids, and are ok with having them now, now just wasn't the very best time so I can see why she would be very stressed out. Plus this is going to make getting a job difficult for her because it is going to be her first year and she is going to have to take 8 weeks off. Your first year is hard and having a baby will make it even harder.
Then she said that the kids couldn't give her more than two books at a time because she doesn't want to kill her baby. I understand she doesnt' need to be lifting a lot of things that are heavy (she works at a warehouse and is going to have to really cut back on her lifting there) but seriously three science books are not going to strain the baby.
You can now see how I am excited for her and also dreading this. She is full of excuses now as it is and I can just hear why she can't do something now because of her baby.
So before that meeting we had a site leadership meeting where a representative of each grade level comes together to have a meeting with our principal. She shows up late (on her midterm day let me remind you) to this meeting. Aside from the fact that I have a very low tolerance for tardiness (espcially chronic tardiness) she walks in late to a meeting with the guy that has the potential to hire her. If anything she should have been 10 minutes early. So that didn't start the morning off super.
Back to the midterm. We go in and I am all set and ready to lay it down for her. Her supervisor started right in and said that we noticed that she didn't handle stress very well (that was a nice way of saying she is snotty when we give her suggestions) and asked if everything was ok at home. She immediately got this look on her face like I should know what the hell is going on...my intern hasn't said anything to me that something was wrong at home. This was my intern's response:
"well yeah it's fine...but this is the first time Angie is going to hear this but I went to the Dr. on Monday and I am pregnant!"
The only thought that instantaneously went through my head was FUCK! I know I should be happy for her and her husband but she already doesn't take criticism well or even simple suggestions...add pregnant hormones in with that and I should have gray hairs by the end of April. How am I supposed to drop this massive bomb of badassness (you like the word) and tell her how to be a better teacher after that comment? Yeah she took the wind out of my sails and depleated my speech right out the window. I did however, stay strong and still tell her that she can't take everything so personal. If the kids don't get it, it't not always her fault. Maybe it's just really hard and they need more practice. If they are trying their very very hardest, you can't get frustrated and upset with the kids. They struggle with reading and just because it came easy for her it doesn't for these two that she gets upset with (she informed us that this was the reason she gets frustrated because she doesn't understand why it is hard).
After the initial shock of hearing that on top of dealing with her being difficult to work with at times, I got over it and realized that I was happy for her. She is happy to be pregnant but at the same time her and her husband just moved into a one bedroom apartment and while they have talked about kids, and are ok with having them now, now just wasn't the very best time so I can see why she would be very stressed out. Plus this is going to make getting a job difficult for her because it is going to be her first year and she is going to have to take 8 weeks off. Your first year is hard and having a baby will make it even harder.
Then she said that the kids couldn't give her more than two books at a time because she doesn't want to kill her baby. I understand she doesnt' need to be lifting a lot of things that are heavy (she works at a warehouse and is going to have to really cut back on her lifting there) but seriously three science books are not going to strain the baby.
You can now see how I am excited for her and also dreading this. She is full of excuses now as it is and I can just hear why she can't do something now because of her baby.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
What a weekend
Alright I know you have missed my mindless drabble, but geez what a weekend I had. I went home to see my dad. He got to get out of the hospital on Saturday but had to go home with oxygen. He was really pissed because he didn't want to stay and the stupid doctor didn't come in until like 4 on Saturday so he had to sit there and just wait. Oh my gosh he was so angry. Then we got him home with his oxygen and he was a little better. So in that department we are doing ok. He has a follow up on Monday and we will see what happens there.
On my little weekend escapade, Dave and I decided to teach Allie and Anthony (my niece and nephew) how to play Bullshit the card game. We chose to clean it up some and we called it BS. Watching my 5 year old neice play this was hysterical. My nephew is a horrible liar so she just sat there and called BS at the top of her lungs everytime he layed down a card. We finally got him to understand you have to try to lie in the game and keep a straight face, but then we couldn't get her to quit calling it. I had planned to write this blog much earlier, but then after you read the next paragraph you will understand why I was delayed. Anyway I can't remember all of her witty comments, but I have a few. We took the dog for a walk and she informed me that she couldn't wait to grow up. When I said well you are only 5 she reminded me that she "couldn't wait to be 16 so she could be a mommy!" Yeah that's a direct quote. I informed her that she might want to wait a few years AFTER 16 to be a mommy when she has a better idea of what mommies do. Then my sister was telling us a story and she was trying to hide something from my nephew becuase it's a surprise for him and (keep in mind this is maybe a few hours after teaching Allie to play bullshit) my niece proclaimed at the top of her lungs, MAMA THAT'S BULLSHIT...YOU HAVE A HORRIBLE BULLSHIT FACE! I about died laughing right there. I was absolutely classic and I wish I could have had a camera for it. Yeah I then had to "unteach" the game to her...or at least explain that she can only say BS and she can't say the bad word.
To top off my weekend Dave's dad got three flat tires going out to my brother-in-law's family's ranch. Dave went to get him and I had the dog. Who by the way was a pain in the ass! Long story short he sat and whined the whole time even though I was there and then he decided to go into our basement. As I went down to get him, I apparently forgot that there were more stairs and fell down the rest. I landed so hard on my ankle I could barely stand. Now I was pissed at the dog and was in a bad mood myself. I went to the DR yesterday and had X-rays. The wonderful people there received them this morning, however, did not feel it necessary to let me know the results of my own X-ray. I called 4 times today to get some answers. I had a pretty good idea that it wasn't broken but I had fractured the same ankle in high school and had a lot less swelling. It looks like I have a golf ball sticking off my ankle. So I marched to the office today after school and said I have called all day and while you don't feel it necessary to let me know what the hell is going on, I would love to know. My X-rays were normal so no breaks or fractures. Now I just need to get the swelling down and take care of the sprain.
Ugh that was my fun and wonderful weekend. Look for more on the student teaching experience later tonight or tomorrow!
On my little weekend escapade, Dave and I decided to teach Allie and Anthony (my niece and nephew) how to play Bullshit the card game. We chose to clean it up some and we called it BS. Watching my 5 year old neice play this was hysterical. My nephew is a horrible liar so she just sat there and called BS at the top of her lungs everytime he layed down a card. We finally got him to understand you have to try to lie in the game and keep a straight face, but then we couldn't get her to quit calling it. I had planned to write this blog much earlier, but then after you read the next paragraph you will understand why I was delayed. Anyway I can't remember all of her witty comments, but I have a few. We took the dog for a walk and she informed me that she couldn't wait to grow up. When I said well you are only 5 she reminded me that she "couldn't wait to be 16 so she could be a mommy!" Yeah that's a direct quote. I informed her that she might want to wait a few years AFTER 16 to be a mommy when she has a better idea of what mommies do. Then my sister was telling us a story and she was trying to hide something from my nephew becuase it's a surprise for him and (keep in mind this is maybe a few hours after teaching Allie to play bullshit) my niece proclaimed at the top of her lungs, MAMA THAT'S BULLSHIT...YOU HAVE A HORRIBLE BULLSHIT FACE! I about died laughing right there. I was absolutely classic and I wish I could have had a camera for it. Yeah I then had to "unteach" the game to her...or at least explain that she can only say BS and she can't say the bad word.
To top off my weekend Dave's dad got three flat tires going out to my brother-in-law's family's ranch. Dave went to get him and I had the dog. Who by the way was a pain in the ass! Long story short he sat and whined the whole time even though I was there and then he decided to go into our basement. As I went down to get him, I apparently forgot that there were more stairs and fell down the rest. I landed so hard on my ankle I could barely stand. Now I was pissed at the dog and was in a bad mood myself. I went to the DR yesterday and had X-rays. The wonderful people there received them this morning, however, did not feel it necessary to let me know the results of my own X-ray. I called 4 times today to get some answers. I had a pretty good idea that it wasn't broken but I had fractured the same ankle in high school and had a lot less swelling. It looks like I have a golf ball sticking off my ankle. So I marched to the office today after school and said I have called all day and while you don't feel it necessary to let me know what the hell is going on, I would love to know. My X-rays were normal so no breaks or fractures. Now I just need to get the swelling down and take care of the sprain.
Ugh that was my fun and wonderful weekend. Look for more on the student teaching experience later tonight or tomorrow!
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Life
After losing my mom almost three years ago, the value of having your parents around was more apparent than ever. Yesterday, my sister called to tell me that my dad wasn't feeling well. Ok no biggie right, the guy is allowed to get sick once in a while. Well by lunch time, he had passed out in the hall and had thrown up. So he landed himself in the emergency room. My sister was very worried that he was going to have pnuemnoia and that was not going to be good. Turns out that he has bronchitus and they are wondering if he might have a blockage somewhere near his prostrate. He had the option of going home with oxygen and an antibiotic because the Dr. knew my sister was used to taking care of sick people from when my mom was sick or he could stay in the hospital. He chose to stay in the hospital which made me feel better because it will give my sister some piece of mind. The Dr. said that his chest x-ray was the best it could be for someone who was 74 so that was good. But they are going to get back some more blood work today to see what else is going on. His blood sugar was really high when they brought him in and then the prostate thing so we will see today hopefully.
The thing that kills me is the entire time I am hearing all of this (I got pulled from my classroom yesterday because she called the school to tell me) all I could think was I only have one parent left. I'll be 25 in July...people shouldn't have to lose their parents until they are into their like 50s...I guess it's a downfall of having parents that had me when they were much older. But still...I never got to tell my mom about my first day of school as a teacher...she died a month before school started. She will never get to see me get married or meet my children. Even though my dad is healthy overall, I still can't help but think he is 74 and what if something happens to him too? Then he won't get to see me get married or meet my kids. I only knew my mom's mom and she died when I was five so I grew up with no grandparents. I don't want my kids to do the same, at least having no grandparents from my side of the family.
So I guess we will see how today goes. Hopefully I don't get any more emergency calls during school...
The thing that kills me is the entire time I am hearing all of this (I got pulled from my classroom yesterday because she called the school to tell me) all I could think was I only have one parent left. I'll be 25 in July...people shouldn't have to lose their parents until they are into their like 50s...I guess it's a downfall of having parents that had me when they were much older. But still...I never got to tell my mom about my first day of school as a teacher...she died a month before school started. She will never get to see me get married or meet my children. Even though my dad is healthy overall, I still can't help but think he is 74 and what if something happens to him too? Then he won't get to see me get married or meet my kids. I only knew my mom's mom and she died when I was five so I grew up with no grandparents. I don't want my kids to do the same, at least having no grandparents from my side of the family.
So I guess we will see how today goes. Hopefully I don't get any more emergency calls during school...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
