There has been something on my mind way before Dave asked my dad if he could marry me. Something that I know all girls do since a very young age when they are planning out their dream wedding. Bridesmaids. Of course you pick when you are little the friends that come to ride bikes with you and are at your house all the time. But then you grow up and you get new friends. So how do you choose who your bridesmaids are? I know that all but one (me and Steph are the lone unmarrieds) of the people that read my blog are married (including Jen now congrats!!) and I want to know how you picked your bridesmaids. Here's the reason I ask...
Let me start by giving you the list of people that I have recently wanted in my wedding:
Sister
Shasta
Chrissy
Christine
Kayla
Monica
Teela
Ok so you can see the list is too long (or is it?? what's a good number?) Here are the things I know for sure: My sister will be my matron of honor (unless for some reason she doesn't want to be and would rather fill the role of mother of the bride...not sure how to handle that one either) and Shasta is the one that will never change she will always be in my wedding no matter what. So the top two are guaranteed. Now on to the others:
Chrissy - she's going to be in it...there's no way around this one either. We've become great friends and she is always there to support me no matter what. She is also the friend that wouldn't have hurt feelings if I didn't have her in my wedding.
Christine - we are good friends then she took time off to have her baby and it gave me a chance to get closer to Chrissy. Christine has always been supportive and both Dave and I are good friends with her and her husband.
Kayla - Dave's sister had always planned on having her in the wedding...not so sure now becuase of items in Betrayed Blog below. How do I handle that one...I'm sure she would have hurt feelings, but at the same time do I want someone in my wedding that I'm not 100% sure that person is happy for me to be marrying Dave??
Teela - yes I skipped one...Teela was the person that kept everything about me and Dave a secret for so long. It was because of another wedding that I met Teela and she always kept my secret and never told anyone we were hooking up...even when she became a part of our group of friends. She has always said yeah Dave is being a butt or no Ang you need to calm down you are being dumb...she is always truthful.
Monica - ok here is the person I am not so much starting to question, just am wondering. Monica and I were inseperable. We even lived together until she moved to Fallon to do her student teaching. And I think there starts the problem...she moved to Fallon and never came back. So with her in Fallon, we don't see each other that often. It's like we are living two totally different lives. We talk on the phone maybe twice a week (we used to talk everyday like 10 times a day) and we see each other if she comes up here (i need to go there more often). I saw her at the rodeo Friday and it almost felt like I didn't know her. She has a whole new set of friends down there which is expected, but it's like she is wishy washy with her friends up here. It's very hard to explain and I guess it's just something I feel. She wasn't super supportive of Dave and I when we first got together, but she is now I guess. I just feel like we've grown apart and I wonder if I could take her out of my wedding and just have her attend or if that would mean starting world war three? I actually don't know if it would hurt her feelings or if she would just kinda be like oh well because she is in Fallon and she does have her own set of friends there? I guess I wonder if she feels too like we have grown apart. I mentioned that Dave was going to talk to my dad and it was just like oh (with that surprised shock of bitterness almost, not the surprised I'm happy for my friend shocked which Teela had).
So I guess I would like all my married blogging buddies advice...Shannon, Shasta, Jen, Julia and anyone else that would like to chime in! How did you pick your bridesmaids, how did you avoid hurt feelings on a day that is supposed to be all about you?
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2 comments:
Ok, so in my opinion if you are already questioning whether she should be in the wedding then it is a sign she shouldn't be. I had a friend that I had grown up with. We went to elementary school together, then high school, and then on to college. The older we got, the more and more we slowly grew apart. We were two different people. She joined a sorority in college and got a new group of friends. We still would get together from time to time, but it always seemed awkward. I knew we really were no longer friends, but how could I really just get rid of someone I have been friends with for so long? Then it came time to ask all my friends to be in my wedding. Even though I knew I was no longer close to this girl, I felt obligated to have her in my wedding. Long story short, she is the one person that I instantly regretted having in my wedding. I look at wedding pictures and think “gosh I really wish she wasn’t in the wedding”. This is one day you area allowed to be selfish, because it is going to be one of the most important days in your life. Don’t worry about what someone else might think or feel. The day is all about YOU!
Lisa
First of all, I think that the size of your wedding somewhat determines how many bridesmaids you should have. For instance, I only had about 60 guests at my wedding, had I had like 6 or 7 bridesmaids it would have been WAY over the top. So I only had two. For me choosing just two was really easy because there are the two girls in my life that were always going to be in my wedding no matter what, and that is my sister and my very best friend that I have had my entire life. There are other girls that I am good friends with or was good friends with and have grown apart from a little, and if I had been having a bigger wedding I could very easily have asked them to be bridesmaids and would have been happy having them, but in this case it just wasn't appropriate to have a bunch of bridesmaids. I don't think that any of my friends or cousins or anyone that wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid was bothered in the least. Nobody's feelings were hurt because everyone was just so happy for me they weren't thinking about themselves and how my wedding effected THEM. I think that if you have friends that would be throwing a hissy fit over not being in your wedding then that is really dumb, and if you have people that aren't even ACTING happy about you getting engaged then they should definitely not be in the wedding. Bridesmaids are there for support and fun, not to make you wonder about their friendship.
Anywhoo! Off my soap box now! Hope that may have helped. When it comes down to it- your wedding is about YOU and you can have however many bridesmaids and whoever you want to be involved!
Ahhh! I am so excited for you! I wish Dave would hurry up already!!
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