My little wedding book says that you should keep the in-laws to be informed of wedding stuff so they don't feel left out. It says that telling them the details as you plan is the best way to make them feel involved and a part of the whole process. My little wedding book is stupid!
Friday I was talking to Dave's mom and was telling her all of the planning stuff that I have started. First of all for the love of all mankind could she just act excited? I know she's not exactly the most excitable person but I have seen her get all excited over less...hello her first son is getting married! Be happy! So I proceed to tell her all the details and the date (yeah bozo hadn't even told her what day we were getting married!) and so on. She then proceeds to say well what do I need to do? My first thought: Wow! That was really nice of her to offer to help us! I said that we were still trying to get some about prices and that then we were going to see what we could pay for and see what we would like to ask our parents to help us with. I told her that usually the grooms family pays for the rehersal dinner and some random flowers...it was all I could remember out of the little wedding book. She was fine with that and our little convo ended.
Enter Saturday morning! She calls to tell me that she just finished talking to Aunt Mary...this is the mother of the cousin who's wedding we went to this summer. She proceeds to tell me that Aunt Mary said they paid for the rehersal dinner and the dj so that is what she was going to pay for. Uh did she not hear the detail where I said we would ask our parents for help when we needed it? No huh ok well at least she is offering to pay for these things...still a nice gesture stop being a synical bride. Does it stop there...oh no! Then she tells me that I will book the dj that Chris and Karmella had. Wait WHAT?? I said well Karmella sent me all of the info on him and I haven't looked him up yet...I was just trying to get the ceremony site and the reception site out of the way first. But I will defenitely look into him and thank you for offering to pay for those two things. (Please note that I am still being very nice and very respectful to her two cents). Do you think that was ok...oh hell no! She just kept saying over and over that I needed to book that dj, not just look into him, just go ahead and book him for that day. I tried to step around it for as long as I could and she just kept it up. So I just finally said that we were going to look at a few other djs and compare prices first...if we found a different dj and she still wanted to pay for him, thanks, if not, oh well thanks for the offer anyway! Dave sat in the corner and laughed at me becuase he said you know how she is...you were the one that wanted to keep her involved!
Later Saturday morning, Dave and I are going over our guest list. We are trying to make a rough one so we have an about idea on the food. That's all we pay for at Boomtown so having a rough number will help us with a rough price. Anyhoo he calls his mom to see if there is anyone important that he forgot or someone that she feels should be there. She shares a few names we already had and then tells him that she is buying all kinds of stuff! Fortunately for him I heard him say, don't start buying a bunch of stuff for the wedding...we don't even know what it will look like yet! After this comment he says do you care if my mom buys us our champagne glasses? I look at him like she's retarded because won't we just have some simple plastic glasses or doesn't boomtown provide the toasting glasses? This is until I realize that she means OUR toasting glasses...you know the ones with your names that the BRIDE AND GROOM pick out! Yeah those ones! I then give him the are you fucking kidding me look and he says to me she says they're really pretty. I nicely (through grit teeth) say isn't that something that we pick out together and I thought you said it would be neat to do something with minnie and mickey since that's where we got engaged! He did end up telling her that we wanted to pick those out and she was just like ok then! So I don't know if it hurt her feelings or what but that's something that we pick out. It's not something someone just gives you...or at least I would like to pick ours out.
So in summation: there are certain things that we do not want to listen to the little wedding book on...and filling her in is one of them!!
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4 comments:
Seriously burn the book!
She's just being helpful but still I can totally get how you feel. Open can...worms everywhere.
Just remember a polite "No, Thank you" is always the way to go especially when dealing with in-laws.
See all this stuff is why I want to get married in vegas...I would lose my mind on all these details...toast glasses, guest lists, dj's...I hope when my time comes I find the groom who wants our wedding details to go out to guests in an evite!
hahahahahahaah it only gets worse
Yeah- my MIL had NOTHING to do with our wedding. But neither did I really (heh). I say use the book as a tool for guidelines but if it says things that you don't feel comfortable with then DON'T DO THEM. For reals. This is YOUR wedding and you only get ONE so it should be the way you want it. Just leave the MIL out of it unless there are some pointless (small) decisions you can ask her IMPUT on and then keep it short and sweet so if you go with something else she can't bitch about it. Gob MIL's!
Yea, I wouldn't listen to the book on that subject at all!!!! And as long as your are polite and nice, you have nothing at all to worry about.
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