Ok I already pretty much know the answer to this question but I'm asking it anyway...is there a difference between an usher and a groomsman? Now let me answer NO! I know that usually the groomsmen are the ones that seat people at the wedding, but we are having an issue with the boys side. You see I thought I would be the one with too many girls and him being short...no no it's me that's short and we are not going to have 9 people on both sides so clearly he must make cuts!
Here's the problem: Dave has his brothers and then 2-3 friends that are from Wyoming that he would like in the wedding. He will negotiate on 2 of the friends from Wyoming but one is for sure. Then we have his friends here...if he puts in all 3 of the Wyoming folk, he has one spot left. How does he pick between the 4 friends from here without having hurt feelings? And trust me...there would be hurt feelings among 2 of the remaining 3. One would be like whatever and not care at all...but it's that friend that I think should be in the wedding! But I don't really want to put my two cents in on his side because those are the people that he should choose.
He said why can't we make the rest ushers? He said he had been to a wedding this summer (the one in Wyoming) where there were groomsmen and ushers. I was originally going to make my nephew an usher so apparently the thought was in my head. I've seen weddings that have ushers that are seperate from the groomsmen and I have seen weddings where the groomsmen seat the people.
So it's time for you ladies to weigh in...seriously we were stumped and Dave said write on your blog they always have good advice haha!! So even he knew where I was going to go for help! Shannon you may not have that baby until you comment on this post! Jen you either!! I am absolutely anal about trying to get this next part planned and when I get stumped I feel like I need help IMMEDIATELY!
Thank you very much haha!
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usually the groomsmen seat while they are waiting for the wedding to start so they aren't just standing up there like idiots. also it is one less suit and tie you have to buy.
one neat thing i saw though was at one wedding they had a guy and a girl dressed semi nice sitting at a table with a little list. so you walk up and you say mateo, so they pull mateo and say oh okay you are seated here and they tell the usher please seat mateo at x location, also since the wedding and reception were in the same area they did the table seating. rather then putting out everyones indivual name what they did was label the tables. they did the grooms tables all different beers and the wives all wine.
then in the center of the table was an ice bucket with the name printed on it. so when we walked in we said mateo, and they saw we were friends of the groom, so they told the groomsman to seat us on the grooms side and then handed us a little card that said carona on it so we knew were to sit after. it was pretty cool
anyway back to the point, the person who is not in the wedding can be the person in charge of seating and telling the usher where to seat you!
HOWEVER
at my wedding i had chris and ben be my ushers and just got them green shirts that matched my colors so rob could spend time with his guys longer since all of them were from out of town. soooo i totally defy everything that is correct, but i also stood on the left side on the right side...so i just dont count
and seriously my 19 & 20 year old cousins chris and ben were also my bar tenders so i am clearly bass ackwards
Ok so I think you totally can separate the two. In my wedding what I did was Bernard had all his friends as the groomsmen and then my brothers were the ushers. It was a way to keep my brothers involved without having a ridiculously huge wedding party. A lot of times the groomsmen will also act as the ushers, but in order to keep more people involved in the wedding I think it’s a good idea to have a little of each. Now since everyone will be friends I don’t know how you pick which ones will be which. Dave will have to make that call. Hopefully his friends will understand he can’t really have 20 people standing up front but that he still wants everyone to be a part of the ceremony.
Wow Ok I am learning something here- but I also think it is totally ok to have groomsmen and ushers. I mean, it ONLY makes sense to be able to include extra people without getting out of control with the wedding party.
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