The Great Parental Debate

To spank or not to spank...that seems to be the great parental debate. Today I was watching Montell and the show was about parents who disagreed on how to discipline their children. One parent thought spanking or tapping the hand (some form of physical contact) was the correct way to discipline and the other parent was more of the one that was going to take away privileges instead of spanking. It was interesting to watch because it wasn't like a show that was all about people for spanking or against spanking. It was couples trying to raise their children that disagreed on the correct way of doing so. Let me tell you about the guests:

Couple #1: (in advance Shannon will shoot this man if she ever encounters him I assure you)
The father thinks that discipline should be done by spanking and the mother says no. She says that the child will grow up to fear the father and the father says that if the child doesn't fear him to some point that he won't listen. The fathers main reasoning is that is how he was raised and he turned out fine. Montell was really riding this guy's ass and I can't say that I blame him. At this point, the father is just tapping the child on the hand...seem harmless right...did I mention that the BABY IS 7 WEEKS OLD!!!!! (Yes Shannon just screamed obscenities at her computer) This man believes that the 7 week old baby understands that he is doing something wrong by being tapped on the hand. The parenting expert on the show said that babies can't comprehend something like that or begin to really learn and retain until 6 months old.

Couple #2: The father thinks spanking is good discipline, again mom takes away privileges. This father spanks with a paddle and has left bruises on his children before. They are age 16, 12, and 8. The mother said that if he ever spanked them again she would take all three and they would leave because she didn't want them taken away. So he has been forced to try to see things from her point of view and talk to the kids to explain consequences. Interestingly enough he thought that if he went to jail for abuse that would be ok because he has consequences too and he needs to show his kids that they also have consequences.

Couple #3: The MOTHER thinks spanking is good and the FATHER was adamant that she not hit the child. I emphasize the difference because it was a big deal on the show. The fact that it is usually the father that disciplines in this way and not the mother. This father is so upset that he if his wife taps their son on the hand, she gets hit on the hand. If she smacks the child's leg, the father hits her on the leg. Montell kinda got on him too, but at least he is trying to show her that it doesn't feel good. Montell said he was undermining her, but whatever...she was just getting a hurt ego in my opinion because he was treating her like a kid!

So I don't have kids and have never really formed an opinion of this. My parents weren't spankers, but my mom was a yeller. The main reasoning behind the disciplinarians on the show was that this was how their were raised. Since most of the people that read my blog have children, I was wondering everyone's take on this. When is a spanking ok or is it ever? Is a quick tap on the hand ok or is that just the same as spanking? It was an interesting show and I would be interested to see how the moms that read this (or their husbands) discipline their children.