Is it a full moon or is Wal-Mart just full of freaks?!?!

Now I know what you're thinking...it's the weekend before Burning Man and I must have seen a bunch of burners in Wal-mart...WRONG! Actually I was disappointed because I didn't see any and I always enjoying seeing those that go to Burning Man...

I told Chrissy that I would take her pictures to Wal-Mart tonight because she wasn't going to have time to come into town. She's been stressed and I thought that this was something nice I could do for her. So I drop off the pictures and it's going to be an hour. I have to do a little shopping so I try to stretch it out so I dont' have to come back. Of course I find everything instantly and it only takes like 20 min. So I go back to the photo department to just wait. I wasn't trying to rush them and they were very nice to me. The girl kept saying we are trying to get them to you as soon as we can...and I just said I'm not in a hurry, you told me an hour my shopping just didn't take as long as I expected no biggie. Hence why I was sad no burners to people watch. But then what I saw made those burners that stand out blend right in with everyone else!

A foreign group walked up. 2 girls and one older guy. One girl asked for help with a camera so the photo girl went out there. She came back hysterically laughing. I think to myself oh she probably couldn't understand them...I think they were German from their accents...for sure from Europe. Anywhoo...the other girl that is with this group then walks around the corner and I see what is causing all the laughter. She is tall and heavier...she was stocky I guess you could say. You know when people lose a ton of weight and they actually have skin on their tummies that hangs over their pants...yep she had it (not that I'm judging because by no means is my body perfect but at least I try to keep those imperfections covered up) hanging out over her jeans. Her shirt, which was too short adding to said tummy problem, was white and it was see-through because the material was so thin. It was also bursting at the buttons because her giant knockers were trying to eat the shirt. She was wearing a BRIGHT TEAL bra under said see-through shirt. Not too bad yet right...let's get to her eyes. She was wearing bright green eyeshadow! Not like an emerald or any other green you have seen...no no....she was wearing GRANNY SMITH APPLE green eyeshadow. And it was all the way up to her eyebrows...came out like cat eyes and was on her lower eyelid too. Now I know you are saying well Angie girls sometimes do that they use a matching eyeliner duh! No no...she had it on the actual whole lid making it seem like she had huge green bags under her eyes! So yeah I see the chuckles but I don't know why they are STILL laughing. Let me tell you why...

The girl decides to sit down on the bottom shelf where the cameras are because she is getting impatient. She sits down and sits spread eagle. THERE IS NO CROTCH IN HER PANTS!!!!! IT'S BEEN CUT OUT OR RIPPED OUT OR SOMETHING!
I glance over and notice that this is the case and I am thinking WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GIRL DOING??? DOES SHE NOT KNOW HER HOO HOO IS HANGING OUT?? So I turn away as not to be obvious that I am chuckling but it's like a train wreck. I had to look again to make sure I did just see what I thought I did...yep and at second glance she is wearing a black see-through thong!!!!!!! So you can actually see her naughty bits! I am dying...what is she thinking? The girls behind the camera counter are laughing uncontrollably and the best part of it all is that this chick things she is hot shit! A guy walked up and she actually gave him the fuck me eyes...he thought he too was hot shit until he looked down and saw hoo hoo hanging out and then he turned and quickly walked away. A mom and a child walked up and the mother said OH MY GOD! they left. Two mexican guys walked up and they were talking in Spanish...fortunatly my spanish is good enough to understand that the thought she was a prostitute!

I love seeing all the burners because they are interesting people...they come from all over, from all walks of life and it's interesting to see them as they are shopping. Especially since they are such happy people and are all so excited to be attending this big event. But this woman...she made even the oddest burner seem like a normal joe schmo.

Bonus: I got all the pictures (2 rolls of film) for Chrissy for $3 because the lady said she only charged me for developing (which waht the hell is the other $5 on each set of picture usually for) because I was so nice...not sure if I was just nice because I was being patient or because I wasn't rolling on the floor with laughter at the woman and her crotchless jeans!!!!