Chapter 18: More Devistating News...

The post that I am about to write is the worst part of our entire story. It was the one thing that did bring me close enough to actually give up and be done with him. Oddly enough, I forgot this entire chapter. It's such a thorn in my side that I have no idea how I could have possibly forgotten thing, but I see it as a good thing. It must mean that I have started to actually put it behind me and not dwell on it anymore. These next few posts are going to seem out of order because I forgot this chapter, but I will go back over and smooth them all out.

As if my world wasn't devisitating enough right at this moment with everything that had just happened, I was about to receive more devistating news. There was a night that I spent on the phone with my friend Eric. Eric had lost his dad a few years earlier and at the time, he was the only friend I had that had any idea what I was going through. He knew what it was like to lose a parent at a young age. We used to spend hours talking on the phone together, and this night was no different. We talked about my mom for a while and then the conversation somehow turned to Dave and I. Of course I played it off, but I slowly started telling Eric that I did like him. I wasn't letting on to everything, but he knew that there was more than friends there.

As nice as Eric tried to be and as much as he said he was looking out for me at this time, what came out of his mouth was enough to make my stomach churn like I had been on a carnival ride for 8 continuous hours. Eric informed me that really I didn't have a chance with Dave because there was this other girl that he liked. She was way hot (apparently I was dog meat at the time) and he was totally into her. Then he gave the crushing blow..."You know he fucked Janna" I shut down. I asked how he knew this and he said that Dave had been bragging about it to the guys. I quickly tried to get off the phone, but Eric knew that the damage was done. He knew I was going to tell Dave that I knew this and Eric reminded me that Janna was a way better choice and that I should just let Dave be. I heard none of this...my head was spinning.

How could he do this to me? I know we weren't together, and we were sleeping with each other no strings attached, but I really didn't mean that and in no way did I think he did. We had been doing this for 8 months and we had never slept with anyone but each other. Was everything I thought about him really all a lie? Was he really using me when he needed me and then actually "liking" another girl? No sense in making myself sick over the what if questions...it was time to get some answers. I hung up the phone and called Dave.