Chapter 23: A Defining Moment

This is by far my favorite chapter of our entire story. Without this chapter, we certainly wouldn't be where we are today!

I talked to my sister and asked her if I could come home the day before Christmas. I explained to her that I really wanted to go do this and that it was something I needed to do. This was our first Christmas without my mom, and to my utter surprise my sister didn't put up a fight. So I made the decision to go and it was the best decision I have ever made.

Kayla and Kenny backing out of this trip was the greatest thing could have happened. This meant that Dave and I would be in a car alone for 12 hours. Certainly I would get some answers to all my questions and things would be settled by the end of this trip. It's not like we were just going down there and then I was turning right around and flying home...I was there for 5 days.

We left very early the morning of December 18. I remember him having to tell Kayla bye and all the tears and it really sucked. I remember thinking that he was dumb for moving and clearly he could see that we all wanted him here much more than anyone in Arizona.

Once we were in the car, everything changed. It was like it always was when we were together by ourselves without the influence of our friends. He was just himself and my myself. We started listening to music and he would play songs for me and it was literally the most fun car trip we have ever taken together. Once it started to get dark outside, he would reach over and hold my hang...butterflies would flutter and I tried to soak in every single second of it. Every road trip I hope that feeling will be recreated, and every road trip I am let down. Never again will I have those butterflies in my tummy...never again will I cling to every single word that he says in that way. We got lost on the way...making the trip even better. Sometimes words can't even describe how I felt on the entire trip...it was absolutely perfect and trying to write every single detail down won't even do it any justice.

When we got to Arizona finally, I was able to meet his mom and grandparents...yeah did I leave out that I had to meet the family on this trip. He wouldn't bring me along if he didn't like me...no one was going to believe that we were just friends, especially after the car ride down there. This trip was also the most fun I have ever had with his mom...I again try to recreate this feeling with her to no avail (obviously!). We spent the next few days going to Mexico and having BBQs drinking at his grandparents house. Again, words can't describe the amount of fun I was having...why couldn't we have been like this in Reno? Oh yeah...no friends here to impress...no outside influence...just Dave here in Arizona.

The night before I was to leave, we went to his mom's Christmas party for her work. We had an amazing time, but then we got a phone call from Steve. They of course wanted to know what we were up to and my drunk self was about to tell him! I told him that I really liked Dave and that I was tired of getting shit from them. Then I felt like an ass and went crying to the truck because I wanted to go home. You good times when you are way drunk!! He came and sat in the truck with me and I really don't remember at all what he said. The next thing I knew, Darrell (mom's husband) came out and gave Dave the keys and said to take the truck home and that they would get a ride home. Very nice of him I must say.

When we got home, we sat down on the couch. I told him that I was really sad that the next morning I was going to leave him and I wouldn't get to see him anymore. I was really sad that nothing more every became of us...all the while drunk crying here. I was snuggled up with him on the couch when all of a sudden I hear a sniffle. Could it be that he is crying?? I look up and sure enough he is like bawling crying. What the hell is he crying about? He then tells me that all this time he liked me. He is so afraid of relationships that he didn't know what to do but that he doesn't want me to leave...he wants me to stay there and he is going to be so sad when I get on the plane tomorrow. Most girls would be touched...most girls would be like YES I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!! This girl, however, was thinking...HELLO MORON YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO MOVE, along with thinking, NICE FUCKING TIMING YOU GENIUS!!!!

He drops this on me the night before I am to leave...who does that!!! Oh yeah Captain Disaster here. We spend the rest of the night just cuddling and talking about all of our memories made thus far. We briefly touched upon where we might go from here, but I didn't want to get into that. I had already decided that I wasn't going to do a long distance thing and he was staying in Arizona so really what hope was there for us? It was going to be one of those things that at least I got my answers and I knew that I was important to him, but that the timing was just never right.

We both cried once we got to the airport the next day. Darrell went with us so that was a bit awkward. I was looking forward to some major movie goodbye here. Hugs, tears and lots of kissing...I really wanted to make sure that I got lots of kissing in. But kinda hard to do with Darrell tagging along. I didn't know what was going to happen and my plan of me being the one to leave him was pretty much out of the question now that I knew he had feelings. We both hugged and were sad...Darrell on the other hand sat back and laughed at us. Darrell's exact quote of the day, "I don't know what you guys are crying about...I have a feeling that we are going to be seeing a lot more of her around here." (So glad that Darrell could see it!)

They called my plane, we had one last hug and we promised to call each other everyday. Knowing how he was about the phone I figured that it was a pretty empty promise on his end, but to my surprise I was wrong. I waved goodbye and I was gone.